Both Sides of the Story Part 1
by amida kawanishi
Summary: Get this everyone! Part One is complete! Keiko and Yusuke hit a little trouble on Christmas and nothing's been the same since. Part One is REALLY cookin' now, ya'll! The story is in Keiko's p.o.v, at least for now! Please read closely! And leave reviews!
1. Prologue, Please Don't Leave Me

**Part 1**

**Prologue**

Stupid boys . . . they don't know anything about . . . about . . . _anything_! I'm just wasting my time thinking about him. I sound so . . . so . . . pitiful. Why were boys created? Are they here to annoy us women? Not only are they the most stupid creatures on this damn planet, they bring nothing but trouble and confusion to all the women they cross paths with. Damn them! All men . . . No . . . all _he_ does is let me down when . . . when I need him the most. But . . . why does he make me feel . . . so happy and yet . . . so disgusted?

I sat there on the couch, thinking to myself. I can't stand thinking about him . . . but I always find myself doing it anyway. . . He's . . . so handsome . . . and funny . . . annoying . . . obnoxious . . . stupid . . . evil (sometimes) and yet . . . I . . .

"Keiko, is something the matter?" I heard the worried voice of my mother. I quickly looked at her. Embarrassed at how deep in thought I was, I tried to smile at my caring mother's face. She looked at me awkwardly as I shook my head to her question.

"Nothing's the matter . . . Mama," I said, trying to put at some sort of ease. I looked up at the ceiling as I paused. "Anyway . . . I'm fine. I'm just tired," I lied. I can't tell her the real reason why I'm so spacey . . . she probably wouldn't understand anyway, I told myself. I took my eyes off of the ceiling and looked at my mother, giving her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Mama. There's just so much happening, ya know?"

"Yes, I know. With your birthday tomorrow, you working, and all of these entrance exams around the corner, you're just overwhelmed," said my mother with a smile that mimicked mine. "Perhaps you should go to bed. You can hold off on chores for today." I looked at my mother and nodded.

"Good idea," I said. "Sleep sounds good." I got up and walked towards the hallway door. "I'll see you in the morning, Mama." I stopped halfway in the door. "Oh, and could you tell . . ."

"Don't worry. I'll tell your father you said 'good night'," she said. "I have to go help him downstairs in the diner anyway." I smiled again, nodded, and with that, continued on my way down the hallway to my bedroom.

**Chapter 1- Please Don't Leave Me . . .**

I made a stop in my bedroom, picking up some pajamas for me to put on. I then left and walked to the bathroom. I quietly made my way inside and closed the door as if trying to sneak around. Almost as. . . silent as the dead. I undressed, slipped open the door of the shower, and stepped into it. I turned on the water, allowing the hot to overpower the cold. I let my long, wet hair lay, each strand caressing the half-way point of my back My thoughts lingered as I stared at the wall I leaned against. Will I be able to see him tomorrow? I asked myself. I really miss him. Then I realized something. Why am I worrying about him? After what he did to me. I know for damn sure he's not thinking about me. Or . . . is he? I shook off my stupid question. Screw boys! They're just trouble . . . all of them, I thought, trying to reassure myself. I turned off the water and slid the door open. Not even a good minute after I got out of the steaming, hot water, I dried my hair and I quickly put on my underwear, a small t-shirt and my teddy bear covered pajama pants.

I opened the door, peering out to an empty hallway. I went to my room and quietly closed the door behind me. I climbed into bed and tried so hard to get comfortable. I turned and faced the wall, holding a little brown teddy bear given to me by the person in which I continued to think about nonstop. Why do I love him? Is it because he's a bad boy? He's just so handsome, but then again he always looks like he's up to something. I call him stupid all the time and yet . . . I still love him. Why do I feel this way? Maybe . . . maybe I'm the stupid one.

Yusuke has been my boyfriend for almost three years now. Though we've been together for a short time, I've known him for practically all of my life. I guess we've been close to each other for a long time. I've known him ever since I was little . . . before school started even. And even though I've known him for so long, he still makes me . . . so angry, I said to myself. He never seemed like the loving type of guy . . . at first. He is that type of guy who does things for a laugh . . . or just for the hell of it. He used to be kind of mean to everyone around him . . . and me sometimes. Still thinking to myself, I hugged my bear tightly. Yusuke was the type of guy who liked to play jokes on me . . . or the bastard would try to cop a feel once in a while. I really didn't like him that way . . . but I still had a huge crush on him. People would make fun of him and I. They would poke fun about how we were perfect for each other. He denied it for a while . . . and so did I. But now that I've seen different sides of him, his actions speak so much louder than his words. I've never heard him say the "three words" that every girl would like to hear at least once in their lives. Wordlessly . . . over the last couple of years, I've seen his love . . . I've felt it! But . . . is it love . . .or am I just imagining things?

He was always the toughest person . . . even when he was little. He had Atsuko-san's temper and a hell of a punch. He cusses all of the time . . . but . . . I guess I don't mind as much anymore. He was always the delinquent that you didn't want to mess with . . . the class clown who didn't put up with just anything. He wasn't exactly the smartest guy in the world either. Even though he was always the 'bad boy', for some reason, ever since I can remember, he was always somewhere close by; whether he was at home or around the corner at the market, beating Kuwabara-kun to a bloody pulp.

I almost lost him once. I was only fourteen years old when it happened. But it feels like such a long time ago . . . a shadowed part of my life that I would rather forget. My home got a call from Atsuko-san after I got home from school one day. When I heard that Yusuke had _died _after getting hit by a car, I was devastated. I mean . . . it was inconceivable for me to lose the only guy that I had ever felt anything for. I remember falling to my knees and crying, my mother grabbing my shoulders while I sobbed aloud. I couldn't believe that it was true! I couldn't believe my ears. Sitting there in my mother's arms... crying like that... I felt so helpless. But still, my heart could not grasp his death. For my heart's sake, I had to go see him for myself!

I ran to see if what I was hearing was the truth. But my haste would only prove his death to be a more painful reality. Everything was confirmed . . . when I saw his cold body laying there in the coffin . . . lifeless . . . motionless during the night. I stared at his pale face, his chest no longer pumping with the breaths of life. Perhaps my love then . . . I'll never know . . . but at that moment, I realized . . . that Yusuke was really . . . dead. Only tears would show how I felt that night . . . how much I wanted to deny Yusuke's death . . . but there was no denying it. Yusuke . . . my childhood friend . . . somewhat of a companion . . . was gone . . . and he wasn't going to come back. My heart ached to hear his voice . . . to hear one of his childish jokes again . . . to slap him for pulling one of his perverted pranks. . . but that was impossible. I wanted to touch him . . . but in fear of my emotions, all I could do was cry. Cry louder than ever before until my heart couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stop shaking . . . crying . . . feeling so alone. I felt as if my heart had been pulled out of my chest. I thought I had lost him . . . forever . . .

But . . . just nights later . . . I had a dream. Yusuke wiped my tears away and told me that everything was going to be fine. I felt like he was really there with me. As if his spirit was with me, dead or not. When I woke up to see his face, he wasn't there. Somehow, I convinced myself that it was just my grief getting the best of me.

Yusuke came to me again the next day . . . except this time he came as Kuwabara-kun, his rival. First, he grabbed my chest in order to get my attention. Then I slapped him. This time Yusuke's spirit could not be denied. It was . . . him. He hugged me, telling me to make sure his body wasn't cremated; that he was coming back. What? I wanted to believe him. So badly, I wanted it to be true. I ran to Atsuko-san's house looking forward to telling her. When I got there, she told me that . . . somehow . . . he wasn't dead. His heartbeat was faint, but he was still alive. What joy I felt. Yusuke was trying to talk to me, even in death. Could it have been love then?

I watched over his body and waited for him to come back. Weeks went by and I didn't hear anything from Yusuke. During that time, I almost lost him. Again! Somehow, a fire started in the Urameshi residence. I ran in there without thinking about myself. I just had to get him out of there. I was surrounded by a hellish blaze with the lifeless Yusuke in my arms. There was no hope. Everything was falling down all around us. We were trapped. I thought it was over for both of us. I didn't want to give up, but there was nothing I could do . . .

Suddenly, the flames turned blue and a path cleared out for me. I could feel a familiar presence around me. It felt like Yusuke was all around me, his loving arms surrounding me and protecting me from certain doom. Kuwabara came running in, shouting my name, trying to help me and Yusuke get out. In the end Yusuke was safe; that was all that truly mattered.

Weeks after the fire, I had another dream. Yusuke showed me that in order for him to come back to life, I had to kiss him on the lips by midnight the next day. He would be shining in gold when I went to go see him. I didn't believe the dream. How could I? It sounded too farfetched to be real . . . I tried to brush it off like it was nothing. During that day, my mother had to go to the hospital due to heat exhaustion. As I waited next to my silent mother, I didn't realize how much time had gone by. I sat there, staring at her. Unexpectedly, my mother began to speak. She told me to go to Yusuke before it was too late. I ran, sure that my mother's talking was the true sign I was looking for. When I had gotten to Yusuke's new apartment, I only had five minutes to get to him. I had to kiss him. That's all I knew! I almost didn't make it. When my lips met his, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, my heart praying for him . . . to come back to me. . .

It was just silence as I came away from his face. I waited in fear . . . of the worst. He didn't move. Not even a flinch. My heart sank. I was too late. Then I saw a quick movement in his chest.

He began to rise. He sat there and looked at me, smiling a cute smile. What relief I felt. I couldn't help but hold his warm, alive body in my arms. He had finally returned to me.

Yusuke and I have been through so much so far. He's always busy now. Whether he's working at our Ramen Shop or working with Botan in the spirit world, he's always been here. He's been injured so many times, and yet he still tries so hard to stick it out for my sake. He's always in danger because of the spirit world. So when we see each other, not even King Enma himself can part us. When we're together, we always try to savor every moment we're close to one another . . . at least, that's what we used to do . . .


	2. Our Last Christmas

**Chapter 2- Our Last Christmas**

Yusuke and I haven't spoken in about a month. Even when I work with him at the Ramen Shop, he won't talk to me; it's as if he were trying to avoid me. All we've had between us for the last month are akward stares and silence. We got into a huge fight on Christmas . . . and it was all his fault. Christmas had come and gone and Yusuke didn't get me anything. Wait! No! That's not why we fought! He did do something for me on Christmas. But if he did something . . . why am I so mad at him? What did he do? I laid there in my bed, still contemplating. That's odd . . . Why _did _we start fighting anyway?

I remember it was Christmas night and we were at his house. His mother was out with some friends at a Christmas party. I eagerly arrived on time at his door, so excited to see him on the holiday we had together. Yusuke answered me at the door in khaki pants and a dark green long-sleeved shirt. His hair hung freely, naturally. I panned him from top to bottom, his physic shining at me through his well-planned outfit. He looked so cute. I had come in my new dark blueChristmas sweater and a black skirt. Yusuke smiled at me warmly and took my hand. He guided me inside looking at me eye to eye. He looks so handsome when he's dressed like this, I said to myself as we looked at each other. I gave him a short kiss as he pulled me closer. After that, he took my hand and slowly lead me through the living room.

"Keiko . . . you're going to love this," Yusuke said as he held my hands, looking into my eyes. We stopped walking for a moment and Yusuke turned to me. He then pulled me close to him again just like before when I had came in the door. We were so close that his hands were around my waist and I could feel his breath on my face. I liked the way his hands felt around me, so warm and comforting.

"What is it?" I asked as his body pressed against mine for a moment. He gave me a smug smile; he acted as if he was going to kiss me, but he didn't this time. My lips tensed at his. We stood there for a timeless moment, quiet and excited, his hands still poised on my waist. I wanted so badly for him to kiss me and a moment of dissapointment came and went since his kiss never came. I guess he was too excited about showing me the gift. I was getting used to the feeling of just standing there with him, but suddenly, he let me go and took one of my hands. Quickly, he pulled me after him like an excited kid in a candy store.

"Just wait . . ." Yusuke told me, looking back at me and still pulling me with such a proud smile on his face. His sweet expression only made me more eager. We continued to walk. Yusuke stopped at his room and looked at me. "Are you ready?" I nodded. I was so excited. He looked at me and opened the door. Inside, I saw a checkered blanket spread out on the floor with a basket on it. It was a picnic. He smiled at me and asked me, "Does this look familiar?"

"Oh my goodness . . ." I said as I cupped my mouth with my hands. "It's just like our first date." I looked at him and kissed him on the cheek. "This is so sweet."

"Well, it was nothing. Sit down right here," he said while showing where to sit. "It turned out a lot better than I thought it would," he told me as he sat down right across from me.

"I love it!" I got up from my spot and took a seat next to him. I put my arms around him and looked at him. "What's for dinner?"

"Well," he explained. "We have some good ol' turkey sandwiches and some really good potato chips."

"And to drink . . .?" I asked slyly.

"Just some nice, canned iced tea. Your favorite!" Yusuke looked at me and smiled. "Keiko, you're so amazing." I had started to bite my sandwich when he said that. I looked at him and smiled back.

"Yusuke, you're the amazing one, " I said to him, smiling and swallowing the part of the sandwich I had in my mouth. "I mean, we run the Ramen Shop; you're trying to rent your own apartment; you go to the spirit world and you always get the job done there; and yet you never cease to ama--" I was interrupted by Yusuke's unexpected kiss. Yusuke was always an excellent kisser, but this kiss was somehow, more than that.

His hands came around me, holding me . . . supporting me. I dropped my sandwich and I let my arms hold him as his strong arms continued to embrace me. I felt his tongue gently slip into my mouth and with the soft touch of it, I melted in his strong embrace. Our tongues moved in unison and the movement of his mouth made my heart pound. His hands moved on my back in some sort of rhythm, Gradually, I leaned back while his body pushed on me, losing myself in his passionate kiss. I closed my eyes and clutched onto him, hoping he would never let me go. But then, he parted the kiss and looked at me. I . . . reluctantly opened my eyes. "Yu . . . suke . . ." I whispered. I was trying to regain the breath he had taken from me.

"Keiko . . . I hope . . . you like your gift." Yusuke looked at me, full of kindness and, I thought, love. He was breathing a little hard too, but he recovered quickly. I looked at him. He was still holding me in his arms. I just wanted him to kiss me again. Faltering, he released me from his grasp. I regained myself and sat back up. I reluctantly picked up my dropped sandwich and began to eat again.

"Yusuke, this is one of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever gotten." I looked down at my sandwich as Yusuke picked up his and began to eat. I looked at Yusuke. He had never looked so handsome to me before. "But . . . you know," I said, "compared to our first date, this one's better."

"How so?" asked Yusuke, his cheek full of turkey.

"You brought rocks," I laughed. Yusuke looked at his sandwich and bag of chips and began to laugh. "I didn't mind though. It was our first date. You were probably so nervous that you forgot to bring actual food." I playfully flirted with him with my eyes. He, of course, flirted back.

"Actually, I didn't have any real food or any money. Mom wasn't going to help out; it's not like she had the money. I had actually packed peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and crackers 'cause that's all I could find . . . but . . ."

"_But _what?" I asked while I dove into a small bag of chips.

"Well . . . on my way to the park to meet you, I ran into some punks from Kasanegafuchi Junior High." I looked at him.

"So?" I asked dryly.

"Those dumbasses always want a piece of Urameshi! There was five of them, Keiko. Five!" I looked at him, his animated body telling the story. "They were all convinced that they could kick my ass. So I sat the basket and the blanket down on the sidewalk. And it was on! I showed them, all right," chuckled Yusuke.

"So what happened to the food?" I asked. I shifted off of my bottom and sat up on my knees, intrigued by the story.

"After the job was done, I picked up the crap that I had sat down before and ran as fast as I could to go and see you. When I got there, you weren't there yet. So, I laid out the blanket and waited for you."

"When I got there, there you were sitting next to your basket." I recalled aloud, shifting my body again to get more comfortable on the floor.

"Well, when I opened the basket . . ."

" . . . it was full of rocks!" I finished the sentence for him. "I see . . . So, you were set up. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I didn't think you'd believe me. Plus, it wasn't all that important. We still had fun, right?" Yusuke leaned in close as if to kiss me again. I swallowed the last bit of food in my mouth. I quietly said, smiling, "I still loved it." Yusuke grinned at me and moved in even closer. Our breaths began to mix between us. His mouth finally met mine. His kisses were always something to look forward to. His hand began to caress my face while his other pulled me closer. I threw my hands around his neck. His tongue began to enter my mouth . . . but . . . the phone rang. I pulled away and Yusuke sighed. He got up and went to the phone. Since we had finished our meal, I threw the potato chip bags away, folded up the blanket, and went on my way to the kitchen.

While in the kitchen, I looked and saw how clean everything looked. Did Yusuke clean everything up himself? I smiled to myself. I realized that I still had the basket in my hands. I reached up in the cabinet and carefully placed the basket there, somehow guessing that was where the basket was supposed to go. As I closed the cabinet, familiar hands came around my waist. I turned around to see a smiling Yusuke.

"Who was on the phone?" I questioned.

"It was just my Mom," he answered.

"Everything's okay, I hope . . ." I exclaimed.

"Everything's fine. Now what were we doing?" he asked me mischievously.

"We were . . ." Yusuke lightly kissed me, interrupting me.

"You didn't have to answer me . . ." said Yusuke, quietly, as he moved in to kiss me again. As if he were a magnet, his mouth attached to mine. There was more passion in this kiss. I didn't mind though . . . I only wanted to finish the kiss we had started just moments before. I simply closed my eyes and let my mouth enjoy the taste of his. He leaned me against the oven as he continued to press into my mouth. We sucked on each other, taking everything we could. His arms held me tightly . . . so tightly that I couldn't help but feel excited. Our bodies began to heat up, slowly the desires inside of me made themselves known. In feeling this, my body burned more than before. My hand could not resist from running through his hair. His tongue danced in my mouth. All I could do was hold him as he pressed against me. I pulled away from him and gasped. I had to catch my breath. "Is something wrong?" Yusuke asked. He sounded a little worried. I looked up at him.

"I'm fine." I said, my heart moving faster than my mind was. "Can we . . . go back to your room?" My hands were moving slowly on his chest. I felt his muscles tense up in our short silence.

"If you want to. In fact, we should watch a movie." Yusuke suggested as he released me. He walked out of the kitchen with me close behind him. He went over to the personal library and looked for a movie. "How about "Pirates of the Caribbean"?" he asked. " . . .or maybe a horror film?"

"Anything will do," was my answer; that was all I could say at the moment. Honestly, I really didn't care. My body was feeling something I had only felt in small bursts in the past. My body burned with . . . a new, undeniable flame that Yusuke's kiss had put deep inside me. I just wanted to get back to his bedroom . . . to his bed . . .

""Pirates of the Caribbean" it is," said Yusuke with a smile. With that, he held my hand as we walked back to his room. As I sat down in his bed, he popped the video in the VCR. He sat down by me. I laid my head on his shoulder. I loved being so close to him. It was comfort to me and my mind, having him so nearby . . . but . . . I couldn't help but feel like I wanted to be closer . . . so much more closer than I already was.

The movie continued. I don't know how long it had been on . . . but it was getting interesting. Unfortunately, I found it hard to concentrate on it. My insides were on fire as I continued laying on his shoulder. As the movie went on, I looked up at Yusuke. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. He's so handsome tonight, I thought. I leaned toward him, moving my lips across his skin of his neck. Kissing it . . . licking it . . . my body continued to rage. I had this urge to jump on him. I continued to hold myself back. I felt Yusuke shiver a little bit at my mouth's touch. He looked down at me.

"Have you ever seen this movie?" he asked.

"I haven't," I said.

"It's actually pretty good." I continued to lick his skin, unable to control the heat that was flaming inside of me.

"Is that so . . .?" I asked finally pulling away from him.

"Yeah . . ." I looked up at Yusuke. Restraining myself . . . denying myself . . . it was terrible. Sitting there . . . was like torture. Unable to hold back any longer, I grabbed his face and kissed him. He was shocked; I could see it in his face. In each other embraces, we fell over. We were both laying down now his body under mine. I could feel him adjusting to my sudden attack on his lips. Our tongues moved at two different paces; mine was quick while his was so slow. I couldn't resist his pace. I couldn't help but to cooperate with his tongue as his arms squeezed me so tightly. I pulled away and looked at him.

"I want you," I said. " . . . right now!"

"What?! Keiko, I don't think we're ready." exclaimed Yusuke. Yusuke made an attempt to push me off, but I hung on. I licked his neck playfully, toying around with him. And then . . . I bit him. Yusuke yelled out in a moan filled with pain . . . but it slowly melted into one full of pleasure. The low sound coming from him only made me want him even more. I sucked on his neck while he panted, making attempts to both enjoy the moment and to end it. I stopped the bite and kissed him again. His mouth pressed into mine with equal passion. He turned me over, his body now towering over me but his lips still locked with mine. He came down on me, his body pressing with all of his weight. I was enjoying every moment of it. Yusuke broke our kiss with words I didn't want to hear. "We shouldn't," he told me, panting. I kissed him again trying to lift off his shirt. Somehow, I managed to get on top of him again and his shirt flew across the room. I kissed his chest, and made my way back up to his mouth. I couldn't resist from letting my hands feel along on his muscular chest. His strong hands caressed my back carefully as I felt him becoming more and more excited with every passing second.

I parted our kiss and sat up. I began to undress myself. I took off my sweater and threw it across the room. I was lost in my own desire. All knew was that I wanted him . . . I wanted him so badly . . . I bent down again, topless now except for my bra. Yusuke's hands grabbed my bare waist and I could feel his power as he turned me over. Trying to regain control of the situation, he said, "Keiko listen! We shouldn't do this." I ran my hands down his back.

"Just because we shouldn't doesn't mean we can't," I said, breathing heavily. I licked my lips and grabbed his shoulders. Yusuke looked at me. His face showed that he was undecided as to what he should do. I pulled his face to me and kissed him, allowing my tongue to do the talking. I suddenly pulled away. "Yusuke, I know . . . you want this . . . just as much as I do!" Yusuke stopped moving as if to think about what I had just said. I unbuttoned his pants as he sat and contemplated. As his pants loosened, I reached into them and grabbed the only thing that could possibly be worrying him. I felt Yusuke's body tense up as he looked at me. We just stared at each other for a moment. My mind was racing . . . and my body was on fire. I wanted him so badly . . . and with the feeling of him on top of me, his body burning with mine . . . he had to have wanted the same. After a brief moment, he came back to me and kissed me. I could feel his passion now. Yusuke's hands worked at my skirt and I didn't care. I kissed his chest as he pulled off my unnecessary garment.

I was so sure that we were going for it. I started to remove the last of what he wore. I disposed of them once they were off. Then I began to pull down my panties. I looked at Yusuke who was kissing my neck, my shoulders, working over to my breasts. As his hot breath hit my skin, I moaned softly, unable to stay quiet.

Our underwear was completely off and the last thing that needed to go was my bra. Yusuke practically ripped the bra from me. I threw the bra off and waited for Yusuke to grab the sheet and cover us. He did so. I was so happy . . . so excited . . . so lost in my own anticipation. We were completely naked and under the sheets. There was nothing holding us back. I was ready.

"I love you, Yusuke," I moaned, waiting for him to start.

. . . Silence. "Yusuke?" The only thing I could hear was the sound of the movie blaring to the side of us. I looked up at him. He was looking at me with strange-looking eyes. He wouldn't say anything. "What's wrong, Yusuke . . . don't you love me?" Silence. Yusuke just looked at me, his eyes full of . . . regret.

"I . . . can't," he breathed quietly. What?! I asked in my mind. My body quivered at the thought of stopping now . . . after how far we had gotten.

"But don't you love me?" I asked, my voice trembling. Yusuke didn't say anything. "What? Why won't you answer me?!" Still . . . no answer. He . . . doesn't . . . love me? I thought, my heart calming down and my body shaking with dissapointment. Yusuke got off under the sheets, covering me. He hid his privates with his hands as he made way to his underwear. He seemed . . . so embarrassed. He turned around, exposing his rear to me. He quietly put on his underwear on and then collected all of my clothes.

"You need to go home, Keiko," he announced to me as I lay naked under his sheets. My body was on fire . . . with an unexplainable longing . . . for the man that was telling me to leave . . . the man who was pushing me away. My body's fire quickly turned into a fire full of rage instead of one of passion. I was so angry. I got up with the sheets wrapped around me. I made my way over to him and stared at him. How dare you!? I shouted at him in my mind. Damn you! I snatched my clothes from him and I immediately slapped him after that.

"I look like a fool!" I shouted. "I thought you loved me! So you were just going to get what you wanted and then leave me to dry?! You don't even love me!" I slapped him again. This time, even harder. I walked to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I dropped all my clothes as I stared at the ground. I was really upset . . . and unbelievably furious at that stupid man. Why would he do that to me? How could this happen? I hugged myself, feeling my body raging with heat. How could I let this happen?! All this time . . . he hasn't loved me . . . he's only been trying to get what he wanted . . . for all this time . . . and here I am about to give it to him. "I hate him . . . so much!" I said through gritted teeth. I almost gave my body to someone . . . who doesn't . . . love me, I said to myself, more tears trying to come to my eyes. I denied the tears, my face burning with my rage. I stood in that cool bathroom, my body on fire with a terrible desire. I felt tears come to my eyes in my frustration. I stepped back into my underwear and then I pulled up my skirt. "Damn him . . ." I said aloud, fury coursing through my veins. "Damn him . . . for doing this to me . . ." This stupid boy has gotten the better of me somehow. How could I let that happen!? I asked myself again, furious at Yusuke . . . and partly at myself.

I picked up my bra and put it on, staring at myself in the mirror. Look at me . . . I'm a mess, I said to myself. I straightened out my hair after throwing my sweater over my head. I can't believe I let myself go . . . like that . . . I can't believe I let him touch me . . . like that . . . DAMN HIM!! I wiped away the tears in my eyes as they started to fall down my cheeks. I opened the bathroom and I headed towards the front door. In my humiliation, I found my shoes at the doorway. Yusuke, now dressed in shorts an a t-shirt, stood there, watching me, waiting for me to leave. After putting on my shoes, I turned around and looked at him, seeing that the fact that he was aroused had not disappeared yet. I hope you're aching, I said to myself as if I were talking to him. I hope your body is aching . . . like my heart is right now! Damn you!

Yusuke opened the door for me. I could barely stand to look at him. When I was out of the door, I turned around and looked at Yusuke's despicable face. Rage picked up my hand andended up slapping him again. As his neck turned, recovering from the final blow, a red bite mark was easily seen. It was from when I was sucking on his neck earlier. I bit my lip just remembering the moments before. Dammit . . . I said to myself, fighting off the thoughts. Yusuke just turned to look at me again, his eyes watering. His glistening brown eyes caught me off guard. That was something new, I said to myself. Why . . . is he crying? I asked myself. The look in his eyes . . . was so regretful, even begging for forgiveness. I stared at those eyes for a moment, hating the fact that the touching gaze was coming from the evil man that stood before me. Does he feel bad about . . . what happened? I asked myself. I hope you cry . . . stupid bastard! At that moment, I didn't care how he felt. I hated him with all of my heart. Without a second glance, I walked away and took the elevator down to the bottom floor. Awkward and disappointed, I walked home.

Now that I think back on it, I still can't believe he doesn't love me. Fortunately, he did not take anything away from me. That evil, sick bastard. That whole thing was set up so that he could lure me in. Men only have one thing on their mind. How could he do that to me? Were there signs? There had to have been clues. How could I be so blind? I've been with him for almost three years. Have I been deceived all this time? Am I just . . . wasting my time?

"I really miss him though," I whispered to myself, tears welling up in my eyes. I tried to shake off my weakness. No! I can't miss him I told myself. He tried to take advantage of me. But I let this happen . . . and now we're so far apart, I said to myself, letting weakness come to me once again. But he did it to himself; he deserved every word I said, every slap I gave him. And I'm still mad. I'll show him, I thought. I laid there, with my teddy bear that Yusuke gave me. Sick bastard. I sat up and threw the bear across the room. I don't need him . . . stupid Yusuke. My eyelids grew heavy as I turned over to see the clock. I won't waste anymore time with this. He'll pay for what he did to me . . .


	3. My Struggling Heart

**Chapter 3- My Struggling Heart**

RRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGG!!

"Huh?!" I awoke abruptly and turned my attention to my clock. It's 7:30.

"Good morning, Japan! Today is Friday, the thirty-first day of the first month. We're going to be playing all your favorites all day. So call in, request the song, and we'll play what you want to hear," The radio announced. I rolled out of bed and sat up, rubbing my exhausted eyes. I turned off my radio and made my way towards the door. I stopped, noticing the poor teddy bear I had thrown on the floor. I thought about stepping on him but I changed my mind. I can't be mad at you, I thought to myself. It's not you fault that Yusuke and I aren't getting along. I took the bear in my arms and held him tightly. I sat him back on my bed and left the room to go eat breakfast in the dining room.

"I'm up!" I said as I walked into the living room.

"Keiko . . ." my parents said in unison. I nodded to them. I bent down onto my knees to sit at the table, across from my mother. My father sat at the head of the table.

"Happy 18th birthday," said my father as he gave me a plate. There was a huge selection of food to choose from. Cakes, rice, buns . . . I just took fruits and small pieces of bread and muffins.

"Are you feeling okay?" asked my mother, as she began to pour a cup of tea for me.

"Don't worry . . . I 'm fine," I replied, waving away her offer for tea.

"You seem a tad distracted," added my father. I tried to give them a positive smile.

"I'm good," I said. "May I be excused? I have to meet some people at the coffee shop." My father and mother nodded, understanding that I had to get ready to leave. I went to the bathroom so I could wash my face. I stepped in and immediately closed the door behind me. As I stood there, looking at myself in the mirror, I began to cry. Why am I crying? I asked myself. It can't be because of Yusuke . . . can it? Look, I thought to myself. Nothing happened that night. Nothing happened! Yusuke and I . . . we . . . we almost went to the point of no return. But . . . we didn't . . . How could I have been so stupid?! I slapped myself. He's not worth the tears. I wiped my face with my wash cloth and sat it back to it's original position. Alright! I'll be fine! I swiftly opened the door and returned to my bedroom. I quickly found my uniform and threw it on. I found my homework on my dresser and I packed it away. I emerged from my room and quickly walked to the door.

"Keiko! Don't forget this," said my father, passing my lunch to me.

"Thank you," I grabbed it and kissed him on the cheek. "Bye!" My father waved after me and I walked out of the door. I walked alone for a while. I, honestly, didn't want to meet my friends today. I continued to walk until I reached the coffee shop. I waited . . . and waited . . . and waited. Eternity after eternity. I stood there and thought to myself. I wonder if Yusuke will be at school today . . . What? Why do I even bother? He never comes to school now, I thought, frowning at myself. Why do I keep worrying about him . . .? I don't need to worry. He's just a stupid boy. The dumb ass can worry about him--

"Hey, Keiko-chan," came a soft and comforting voice, interrupting my thoughts. I turned around and saw a familiar red-haired friend.

"K--" I started, correcting myself, since we were in public, before continuing. "Suiichi-kun! Hi," I greeted him. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. But you shouldn't be asking me that question," said Kurama-san with a smile. "Today is _your _special day! Here," exclaimed Kurama-san as he handed me a medium-sized box with a red ribbon on it. I looked down at the gift and back up at Kurama-san. "Go ahead and open it," he smiled at me reassuringly. I excitedly tore at the ribbon. After removing the top, there laid a salt and pepper shaker that resembled baby foxes.

"How sweet . . . they're so cute," I held up one of them and smiled at it. "Thank you, Suiichi-kun!" I then put the precious fox back into the box.

"I'm glad you like it," said Kurama-san. "Are you meeting someone? Yusuke, perhaps?"

"No," I answered. "I'm waiting for some friends . . . But they're twenty minutes late and I'm starting to doubt that they're even coming," I said, my smile fading. "I guess I'll just head off to school."

"Classes at your school don't start until 8:30. It's 8:00 right now . . . I'll have some coffee with you."

"Well . . . all right," I smiled at him. Kurama-san led me to the door and opened it for me. "Thank you." We walked to the counter and made our orders.

"I'll take a double latté," I said, reaching into my book bag.

"Give me a . . . cappuccino, extra frothy," smiled Kurama-san. "Keiko-chan, I'll pay for everything. Don't worry about it." Kurama-san motioned for me to put my money away. I did so. We went over to a booth and sat down. We were going to have to wait about few minutes. Kurama-san sat across from me and smiled. "I'm glad you liked my gift. No offense or anything, but I always have trouble finding gifts for girls."

"Same here," I said. " I mean . . . for boys. Wait . . . I always have trouble getting gifts for boys!" I was nervous for some reason. I blushed.

"I understand what you're saying," said Kurama-san. There was silence for a moment until Kurama-san looked up and saw the waitress coming. I looked behind me and saw her coming as well. She sat teacups in front of both of us. "Thank you," he said as the waitress blushed at the attractive Kurama-san. After the waitress left, he and I started talking about my school work. He started talking about his classes and how much different college was from high school.

"That must be something," I said, sipping the hot liquid. Something about Kurama-san always made me feel happy. He was always so cordial to girls. He had amazing, green eyes and a kind-hearted nature. I couldn't help but smile at him. He was the complete opposite of Yusuke . . . taller and older too.

"Keiko-chan . . . Keiko-chan . . . ?" Kurama-san looked at me with a confused expression. I wasn't paying attention to him.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I must have spaced out," I giggled.

"I must be boring you, Keiko-chan." said Kurama-san. "Sorry about that. I get kind of lengthy sometimes. No more school talk, okay?"

"Yeah," I shrugged, continuing to drink my latté. Why am I so distracted today?

"Keiko-chan, is something bothering you?" he asked.

"Oh . . . there's just so much going on, ya know?" I answered. "With my birthday, the Ramen Shop, and my . . . school . . .work . . ." my voice trailed off. I was looking at the face that had been refusing to talk to me for a month. Yusuke walked by and stopped to look at a sign in the window. He continued to look at a sign on the window. Then . . . as if it just clicked, he looked past the words and . . . saw me. We stared at each other for God knows how long. I just looked at his beautiful face as his eyes seduced mine. Kurama-san saw us sharing glances and sat back in his chair. I knew Kurama-san saw us looking at each other. Remembering that I was with Kurama-san, not Yusuke, I averted my eyes suddenly and returned to my original position. Looking out of the corner of my eye, I saw Yusuke, reluctantly, turn and continue to walk down the street in his green uniform.

"What was that?" asked Kurama-san. "Is something going on?" He looked worried.

"Me and Yusuke . . . haven't been talking lately . . ." I responded. "It's been a little over a month now. We had a . . . a . . . "

". . . a fight . . .?"

"I guess you can call it that, " I replied.

"If you want to talk about it, I'll listen. It must have been serious if you aren't on speaking terms," he said, sipping his cappuccino. I thought about it and decided that perhaps I needed to talk to someone about my problems. I couldn't talk to my friends about it and I couldn't talk to my family about it either. If I had to talk to someone, it might as well be Kurama-san. I began my story by telling him how we had spent Christmas together, that we were getting really close that night. He nodded as he listened on. As I continued in my story, Kurama-san looked up and waved at someone, while paying attention to me at the same time. I turned around to see that it was Kuwabara-kun. He walked over to our booth and stopped in front of me.

"Hey Keiko-chan . . . Kura--," he paused for a moment fixing his mistake. "Minamino . . ." he nodded to both of us. Still standing, he asked, "What are you guys talking about?"

"Yusuke and Keiko-chan are having problems in they're relationship," Kurama-san replied. "Something happened between them. Now what were you saying . . .?"

"Well, we . . . I mean . . . I . . . no, he . . ." I hesitated. I mean I was talking to two guys about my personal life. It was kind of embarrassing. " We . . ."

" . . . Say no more, Keiko-chan. I see what's going on here . . .! He's gonna pay for this," yelled Kuwabara-kun behind gritted teeth. "I will get your justice, Keiko-chan!" With that he ran out of the shop, towards the school shouting **"URAMESHI!!!". **I blushed as he left. Kurama-san sat intently as he listened to me.

"Well, he couldn't say that he loved me," I concluded to Kurama-san without telling him too many of the details. "I felt so stupid . . ."

"I see. You told him how you felt . . ." I nodded. "And he didn't reciprocate. . . " I nodded again. "You felt insulted, taken advantage of . . ." Kurama-san assumed.

"Yes. Do you see now . . .? After that, he told me to leave and we haven't spoken since." Now that my story was finished, I looked down at my watch and saw that it was 8:25. I gasped at the sight of the time. Dammit! 8:25!? "I have to go . . ." I sipped up the last of my latté. "Thanks for everything , Suiichi-kun," I said, carrying my gift, racing out of the door. I ran down the sidewalk non-stop until I was at the school. I almost didn't make it. I sat in my seat and breathed a sigh of relief. The bell rang and the day began.

The day dragged on . . . I heard no words. I daydreamed about me and Yusuke and when we were still together . . . How much I hated him . . . how much I loved him . . . a part of me still wanted what I wished for . . . on Christmas night. Though I tried to shake my thoughts, it was impossible . . . a concept that my mind would not comprehend. I closed my eyes as my memories from Christmas flowed into my mind . . . our last . . . and perhaps worst night together. How his body felt against me . . . how he had kissed me so passionately . . . how his weight pressed down on me. Deep inside, I could still feel the sensation of our body heat rising . . . together. I blinked slowly, staring at the board. I turned my head towards window, trying to regain my senses.

"Keiko-chan . . ."

"Keiko-chan . . ."

"**Keiko-chan **. . . " came three different voices, calling to me. I looked from the window and saw my friends. It was Natsuko-chan . . . Sada-chan . . . and Kimi-chan. They were all staring down at me.

"Is something wrong, Keiko-chan?" Sada-chan asked.

"Oh? I'm just hungry," I lied.

"Well, it's lunch time and you've been sitting there for twenty minutes staring out of the window!" yelled Kimi-chan. I stood up and walked with them over to another part of the room. I looked at the desk and sat down. We began talking about boys, school, what our plans were for Valentine's Day. We laughed a lot. It was the most fun I had had all day. I barely thought of Yusuke and I enjoyed being with my friends.

After lunch, I went to my English class. I sat down in my seat in the front of the class. I was waiting for the class to begin, when I noticed that Yusuke was walking through the door. I looked at him as he stopped and looked at me. He . . . smiled. He moved toward his chair in the back of the room. I watched him as he strolled past my desk. I turned back around, facing the front of the room. The teacher walked in moments before the bell rang. Kuwabara came stumbling after him. He tripped over a desk before making it to his seat next to Yusuke. The class exploded with laughter as he staggered. It was kind of funny. The class started without ado. We had to take out our books and follow along with his reading. He babbled on and on . . . his words were empty to me . . .

"_Sadly, the young woman clung tightly to the man who lie dying in her arms_," read my teacher, looking up out of his book. "_Please, do not speak, my love_." He looked back down at the pages in front of him. "_Save your strength_," he continued. I listened to him as he neared the end of the chapter. "_You must . . . live . . ._" my teacher halted and looked up from his book, toward the back of the room. Yusuke and Kuwabara-kun were in the back arguing in loud whispers. I couldn't hear what they were saying. "**YUSUKE . . . KAZUMA**!!!" he shouted. "If you two continue to talk, I'll have to ask you two to leave." I looked at them in the back of the room and covered my mouth to stifle a laugh. The whole class started laughing at the two. Yusuke and Kuwabara-kun stopped talking and settled back in their chairs.

As the teacher continued to read, I began to daydream about me and Yusuke together again. How would I feel if we had . . . taken the last step? I would probably feel worse than I do now, I told myself in an attempt to be grateful. I should feel relieved that he didn't do anything to me . . . right? I asked myself. But it felt so good when he was on top of me . . . the way his hot lips kissed my skin. I wanted him . . . that night. And he wanted me too. I don't want to remember that night . . . but I can't just forget what happened between us. I sighed to myself. I mean, every girl may have a passing thought here and there about being with the man that their in love with. But . . . I have never felt like that towards Yusuke before . . . my body burning against his . . . wanting to take our relationship that far. I sighed again as the lasting impression of him and I naked under his sheets ran through my memories. His heat, his passion, his . . . love? I'm so stupid, loving someone who doesn't love me back. I'm daydreaming about a boy who tried to take advantage of me, I said to myself. But . . . he didn't. I gasped at the thought. What was he thinking . . .? What was _I_ thinking!? He turned me away at the last possible moment. Is that love? Does he love me?

"**KEIKO?**" I heard a loud voice. I looked at my teacher. "What's with you kids and daydreaming? I asked you a question!" I widened my eyes at my teacher, throwing away the thoughts that came to me.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I apologized to him nervously. "What did you say, sir?" I reddened with embarrassment. He asked the question again. I stood up and I tried to answer him.

"If it weren't your birthday, I would deduct points. But . . . since it's your first offense, I'll let you off the hook," my teacher screeched. The bell rang and all of the kids jumped out of their seats and ran for the door. I stared down at my desk, my mind running wildly. I got up after everyone was gone. I walked out of the room. As I walked, I thought to myself again. Could I just be that stupid? That whole day was a mistake. I looked down, not paying attention to what was in front of me. Why . . . would he lead me so far just to say 'I can't'? I really wanted . . . Uf! I had bumped into someone.

"Oh . . . I'm sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going," I exclaimed. The person had grabbed my shoulders as if to catch me. A tender grasp on both shoulders was what I felt, squeezing ever so carefully. A familiar feeling . . . a feeling of security . . . came over me as I looked at the strong hands that clutched onto me. I looked up to see Yusuke's face gazing down at me.

"It's . . . okay. I wasn't . . . either," Yusuke said to me. I looked at his eyes as they pierced my soul. I wanted to kiss him, but my mind was racing too quickly. I turned my eyes from his and released myself from his hands.

"Thank you for . . . catching me." I looked at him for a moment, taking in the sweet expression on his handsome face. Why can't I stop thinking about you, Yusuke? I asked myself, almost as if I were still talking to him. Christmas night . . . leading me on like that . . . was that your plan . . . all along? I wanted to reach out and touch him . . . to caress him. I couldn't bare to look at him any longer, though I wished not to leave. Making up my mind, I walked around him. I need to get home, I said to myself. My heart was racing, my mind unfocused. Holding my book bag and Kurama-san's present to my chest, I bypassed everyone and headed for the doors.

When I got outside, I ran into my friends from lunch. "Hey guys . . ." I said to them.

"Hey Keiko-chan. We're gonna walk you home," they announced. I smiled at them and we were on our way. Suddenly I found myself, thinking about how they had left me alone at the coffee shop. In fact, they didn't even show up. I tried to just be there with them and forget about what happened that morning.

"Here, Keiko-chan," said Natsuko-chan. She handed me small gift. I looked at it carefully and shook it gently. They looked at me excitedly and nudged me on to open it. I ripped off the paper and opened the tiny box inside. It was a silver pendant that contained a picture of me and my friends.

"Oh my goodness . . . This is so precious." I lifted it out of it's niche and examined it. I opened the clasp and placed it around my neck.

"Sorry about this morning," Sada-chan apologized. "We had to go pick it up this morning."

"By the time we got back, we had to run to school," Kimi-chan said. My three friends smiled at me.

" . . . I love this," I said. "You guys . . . are so great." I hugged my friends and I could feel my eyes watering. Sada, Natsuko, and Kimi-chan walked me home and they all hugged me again before leaving me standing at my door. As my friends walked further away from me, my heart wondered back to the subject of Yusuke. As my precious pendant laid on my chest, I clutched it. I have my friends and that's enough, I thought. I don't need boys. They toy with your heart and they take everything away from you. Maybe it was a mistake . . . I thought. Maybe I'd be better off never knowing him . . .


	4. I Want to See You

**Chapter 4- I **_**Want**_** to See You**

"Mama . . . Daddy . . . I'm home . . ." I exclaimed as I entered the diner.

"Keiko. How was your day?" asked my mother, a smile from ear to ear.

"It was a good day, Mama," I answered her, part of me, lying. "I'm gonna go freshen up."

"Alright, sweetie . . ." said my mother as began on my way. I walked upstairs and entered the door. I took off my shoes. I walked to my room and immediately after entering, I closed the door. I saw the teddy bear sitting on my bed, staring at me. I walked over to the stuffed animal and picked him up. I sat down on my bed and relaxed for the first time all day.

"I . . . want to . . . see . . . you, Yusuke," I whispered, barely realizing what I had said. I looked at the bear and hugged him. Oh . . . why do I keep changing my mind? I hate you . . . but . . . I still love you. I went over to my closet and picked out a white, thin strapped, dress with small blue flowers on it. I quickly undressed from my uniform. I stepped into it, and zipped it up and walked over to my mirror. I looked at myself. This dress, I thought, looks kind of nice on me. I looked at my figure in my reflection. The dress especially hugged my waist. I rubbed my stomach, examining how flat it was. This will do, I told myself.

I went to the bathroom to wash my face. I examined my face in the mirror. I took my wash cloth and ran it over my face a few times. I grabbed a nearby brush and ran its bristles through my hair. "I want to see you," I quietly said aloud, more confidently this time. I blinked at myself. What am I saying? I looked at myself in the mirror once more, imagining Yusuke's face next to mine. Stop fantasying! I put down the brush and stomped out of the bathroom and I went back to my room. I went over to my bed and picked up the box that contained the salt and pepper shakers. With them in hand, I left my room. Upon entering the living room, I headed towards the dining room table. I removed the shakers from their places and sat them in the middle of the table. They're so cute, I thought. I stepped back to get a better look at them. I started playing with my pendant. As I looked down I saw the faces of my friends, upside-down, but them all the same. I smiled. These gifts are so sweet. I strolled from the table towards the door. I stopped to get a small sweater-like jacket out of the closet behind the door. Then I put on my shoes and headed downstairs.

"That didn't take long . . ." said my mother, watching me as I came down the stairs. "Why, don't you look nice today? That dress really suits you . . ."

"Thank you . . ." I told her with a smile. "Anyway . . . Mama, take a look at this pendant," I moved toward her. "My friends gave it to me as a gift . . ." She came closer to see it.

"Oh my, it's darling," she smiled as she fingered it. "How thoughtful."

"Isn't it sweet?" My mother nodded. I suddenly remembered that I had not seen my father since coming back downstairs. "Where's Daddy?" I questioned.

"He'll be out for about another two hours," said my mother.

"Well, I'm going out if you don't mind. If you want me to help out, I can stay here . . ." I waited for her answer.

"You go ahead. I'll hold up the fort. Just make sure you get home before your father does. Your father will want you to see you when he returns." We smiled at each other. With that, I was out the door. I walked alone. I was still contemplating. Could he love me? I keep thinking about him . . . non-stop! My body tenses up when I think about his body against mine. I need to focus. I continued to walk down the street. I looked up and saw that I was at an apartment building. Yusuke's apartment building. I took the elevator up until I was back on the floor on which I had not returned to for over a month. I walked to his door and knocked. Three times I did this. Then . . . I heard some shuffling around.

"Hello?" I heard a voice.

"Atsuko-san, is that you?" I asked, trying to figure out why it was taking her so long to answer the door. Then the door made a clicking sound. The door opened. "Atsuko-san. Hi!"

"Hi, Keiko." Atsuko-san smiled at me. "If you're looking for Yusuke, he's not here. He moved out, _finally_." I started laughing. Wow . . . He moved. I asked, "Where can I find him?" Atsuko-san looked at me, smiling slyly.

"Well . . . well. . . a surprise visit, huh? Hold on . . ." She popped her head back behind her door. I waited for a few minutes. She came back and handed me a piece of paper. "This is where he's staying. Just go up the street and turn left. There are about three apartment buildings there. His is the first apartment building you run into. The numbers are on the doors. Just look for his number, all right?"

"Thank you, Atsuko-san," I smiled at her and gave her a hug. After she recalled it was my birthday and quickly wished for me to have a good one, I went on my way. I got back in the elevator and rode on down. When I reached the bottom, I jumped out and walked swiftly in the direction of his apartment. My heart was calm now and my mind was flying. What will he say when he sees me? What will we do? As I closed in on his place, I looked at my watch. I've got an hour and half. That's plenty of time. I looked at the paper. The number on my paper matched with a door that was on the second floor. I walked up the stairs until I reached his door. I breathed in, trying to compose myself. I exhaled and then I knocked. I heard someone moving, hidden by the door that blocked my way.

"Look, lady . . ." I heard his familiar voice yell as the clicked. "Stop bitchin' and complainin'!" What? I thought, confused by his muffled irritation. What is he talking about? "How many times am I going to have to deal with you!?" The door slowly opened as he added, "I wasn't even playing any . . ." His voice trailed off as he looked at me. His tight t-shirt was the first thing I saw, exposing his muscular arms. I observed his body from top to bottom, noticing his free hair and his green pants. "Keiko . . ." he breathed. I noticed his stare and smiled. His beautiful eyes met with mine.

"Hi," I broke our glance. Yusuke was quiet for a moment. I waited for him to say something.

"Come . . . in," he finally said. I brushed against his arm as I walked in. I purposely did this just to knock him off guard. I turned around and looked at him. He closed the door and walked after me. I just looked at his muscular build as he stood there and stared at me. He looked so good. "Why did you . . . come here?" He looked at me with what seemed like concern.

"I just wanted to see you," I looked into his eyes and moved closer. "I . . . wanted to be near you." I got very close to him, so close that my waist was pressed against his. My finger was tracing the outline of his hard muscles through his shirt. He hesitated at first . . . but then he placed his hands on me . . . all around me. I looked up at him as his hands traveled down my back, causing chills to run down my spine. I could feel his hands relax as they got used to our embrace. I loved staring into his eyes like this. I felt like for the first time, I was actually comfortable being with him. Familiar sensations . . . sensations I missed so much . . . sensations that only Yusuke could give to me . . . returned to my body after such a long time. A look of complete serenity was on his face. I admired this peace I saw, telling me he missed me.

I wanted for him to lean in for the kiss . . . and almost as if reading my thoughts, he did. My body hungered for the touch of his lips to mine . . . a feeling that up until that moment, I hadn't realized how much I missed. I leaned in too to receive the kiss Yusuke was more than willing to give me . . . but I unwillingly stopped myself and let go of him. Yusuke's mind must have clicked too, for his hands let me go almost immediately. "So . . . this is your place, huh?"

". . . Yeah. I started moving in two weeks ago. I'm just about done unpacking. I was ready to get out of Mom's house, you know . . . we were annoying the hell out of each other," said Yusuke. As he spoke, I moved toward his window, checking out the view. While in the window, I could feel his foot steps get closer and closer. I suddenly felt his hot breath against the back of my neck. A hand gently touched my shoulder. I turned around to face him. As I looked into his eyes, I thought about the last time we were together; how we had gotten so close to . . . to . . .

My body burned at the thought. I awkwardly went around him and looked at his furniture. This place doesn't look too good, I thought. He had a three-seat, dark green sofa and a recliner. I saw a television and a lamp sitting on a dresser in the corner. There's no organization at all . . . it's . . . so empty too . . .

"Do you have a telephone?" I asked him, flirting with my eyes.

"Ummm . . . yes. It's in my room . . ." Yusuke pointed to the hallway door; he was still standing in the window. As he said this, I sat on the couch. It was pretty soft so it was easier to get comfortable. I looked at my watch and saw that I still had a little more than an hour to kill. I looked down as I fiddled with the pendant around my neck. I looked up while Yusuke walked over. He sat in the seat right next to me. There was no space between us.

"I missed you," I said. I waited to see what he had to say.

"I missed you too," he replied. There was a silence between us. Then, he said, " . . . I . . . think we should talk . . ." We should talk? I asked in my mind. I don't want to talk . . .

"Not now . . ." I said leaning toward him. I lightly pressed my lips on his neck a couple of times. I put a hand on his chest and slowly I stoked the fine muscles hidden by his shirt. "No words can say . . . how much . . . I've wanted you . . . for the past month." I explained, almost in a whisper, to Yusuke as he looked at me with warmth in his eyes. He picked up one of my hands and kissed it. I gazed up at him. "Yusuke . . ." I moaned ever so softly. How badly I wanted him to kiss me. I knew he was going to, but waiting was the hard part. It was just a matter of time. My mouth longed for the touch of his lips . . . the motion of his tongue. I need to feel you . . . I need this . . . I said in my mind. He slowly leaned toward me, again, as if reading my thoughts. His lips lightly brushed mine before he pressed . . . and before I knew it . . . our mouths had been reunited after what felt like an eternity. I could feel the intensity . . . the passion. I rejoiced as I allowed his tongue move slowly, but surely, into my mouth.

My hands encircled him in an unbreakable embrace. His strong hands moved down and up my back, squeezing me, rejoicing in every touch. My body was heating up along with every wave of enjoyment the kiss gave me. His mouth pressed into mine with such passion . . . such a longing even stronger than the ones we shared at Christmas. I wanted him even more now. I broke our bond and released him. I gradually removed my sweater and laid it on the floor. I gazed into his mysterious eyes as I sensually moved the straps of my dress down and off my shoulders. I slowly leaned backward to lay down. Yusuke eagerly followed me.

Now . . . he laid on top of me, pressing down on me as he had in the past. He started kissing my neck . . . sucking on it. I moaned and giggled as his tongue moved on my skin. He moved over to my shoulder, kissing it gently. I threw back my head at the way it felt. His lips on my skin . . . I loved it! I rubbed on his back as he came to my face.

Our mouths met once again. I clutched onto the cloth that covered his back. His tongue was dancing in my mouth, stealing every hungry breath. I could feel him becoming more and more aroused by every passing moment. I wanted him so badly . . . as he wanted me. I slipped my hands into his shirt to feel his tight muscles tense up quickly and then relax. His skin was so hot as I touched him, his body burning along with mine. His heat was such a comfort to my body. He withdrew from our kiss as he sat up. I sat up too, confused by his actions. What's wrong? I asked in my mind. I really want this . . . I stared at him as he tried to catch his breath. I decided that I couldn't wait any longer.

Taking matters into my hands, I climbed onto his lap and kissed his neck softly. I looked at the faint mark that lid there as I kissed him genlty. That's where I bit him... I said to myself, my body burning with the memory. He quietly moaned as I continued. I wanted to touch him as I had in the past. I grabbed the bottom his shirt and lifted it up. His strong arms went up as I pulled it over his head, his eyes meeting with mine as I did this. When the shirt was gone, I put my hands on his bare chest and started kissing it, hoping for a reaction. He groaned . . . and called my name as I did this. He moved strangely underneath me, trying hard not to become too excited . . . but of course . . . it was useless. I stopped my kisses and sat upright again. Yusuke looked at me as I began to unzip the back of my dress. Half way down, Yusuke grabbed my hand as it clutched the zipper.

"Keiko, stop," he said. "We need to talk about . . ." I kissed him lightly on the lips, interrupting what he had to say. I needed to let him know that whatever he had to say could wait. I pulled away from him. Yusuke was staring up at me. Silence. I let go of my zipper and brought my hand to him. I put my hands on his face and I leaned in toward him, coming slowly closer and closer. Yusuke swooned as I breathed on his ear. He grabbed me and held onto me as I softly kissed him there. Gently, I moved downward, making a trail of my kisses. I stopped when I reached his neck. I softly kissed the small mark where I had bitten him on Christmas again, moaning as I ran my tongue over it time and time again.

Eventually, I sat up again, face to face with Yusuke. I slowly leaned in and kissed him, letting my teeth carefully bite his bottom lip. I let my tongue lightly lick his lip, his mouth curling up into a mischievous smile. Slowly, I could feel that I was convincing Yusuke to let go of his worries for the time being. I could feel his body reaching its peak as his hands moved along my waist and back. I took my hands off of his face and stroked both sides of his chest, running my hands down and over his nipples before cascading down his hard abs. I could feel his skin as my hands moved on him . . . It burned with pure heat . . . a wonderful heat, telling me that he wanted me. I wanted to take away his heat . . . all of it . . .! I stopped my biting and slowly pushed my tongue in his warm mouth, waiting for him to break. I went back to unzipping my dress until it was loose. His strong hands stroked my back slowly as my dress fell open. He pulled me closer until our bodies were pressed in an unbelievable bond. I sighed as his hands squeezed me again and again. His hot embrace felt so good . . . but I was becoming uncomfortable. I withdrew from him and stood up. Slowly I stepped back, allowing Yusuke to see what was to come.

My dress fell on the floor. I looked at him as he stared at my nearly naked body. I came back to him as I mounted his lap once again in only a strapless bra and my panties. He began kissing me on my breast. I moved my fingers through his hair as his head moved to my neck. I moaned softly at the hot breath that brushed my skin. I put my hands on his face and kissed him. I moved my tongue into his mouth now as I guided him back down into a laying position, his hand grasping my thigh. He let me lay him down . . . There was nothing he could do now. I could feel excitement throughout my body. As we laid down, I could feel his fiery body below me. I had broken him.

I kissed him now, with every ounce of myself. He returned my kiss with equal intensity. Our tongues quarreled and cooperated, argued and came together time after time. He began undoing his pants. This shocked me! I helped him pull them off and not long after . . . his underwear were gone too. He sucked the breath out of me and I almost lost myself. I broke away from Yusuke and I sat up, as if to remove my bra. I looked down at him. His strong hands felt along my hips and my waist, squeezing me . . . wanting me. I smiled at him. Let's see if he'll stop me, I thought. I bent down and kissed him again. His hands pressed me down and their strength made my body heat up even more. As my body became warmer and warmer, I could feel his anticipation rising along with my own. He was ready.


	5. My Revenge

**Chapter 5- Sweet Revenge**

He was ready! I was ready! We were both ready! My whole entire body was on fire. I slowly pulled away from Yusuke's lips. He leaned into my lips as our lips separated, showing me he wanted more. Yusuke just swooned as he laid there. I laughed to myself as I looked at him. I sat up once again. This time my bra had to go. I put my hands on the clasps between my breasts. As I began to unsnap the first clasp, my mind slowed down. Everything that had taken place between me and Yusuke was happening so fast. As my mind tried to sort everything out, I could feel Yusuke running his fingers along the rim of my panties, tugging at them slightly.

Three more clasps . . . I looked at Yusuke, his eyes burning with an intense fire. Seeing those flames in his eyes made me _want_ him even more. I couldn't wait to feel his naked body against mine! Yes . . . Two more clasps . . . I . . . can . . . do this, I thought. He's waiting. We're going to do it! I looked down at him. He licked his lips as his waist pushed up under me. I felt a pang and smiled down at my love. One more clasp . . .Yusuke's powerful and loving hands caressed my waist, waiting for me. They squeezed me. I gasped with pleasure, unable to hide my smile. I twisted at my bra as I looked down at him . . . Yes . . . ! How I have waited for this moment. I'll finally have what I've wanted for the _last month_. So long . . . the wait was . . .

What? The last _month_!? I thought, shocked. My mind slowly regained full focus. I looked down at Yusuke. I can't . . . do this! I hesitated . . .

"Keiko . . . what's wrong?" Yusuke looked at me, his body still raging with heat. I smirked as I looked at him, reassuring his confidence. I softly kissed him, sensually, as I felt my way up his chest until I reached his face. As I closed in on his face, I ran my fingers through his hair. I gave him a kiss, moving my tongue into his mouth ever so slowly. He could barely lay still. His warm chest rose and fell as it pressed against me. His hands leisurely grabbed my hips, his thumbs slipping under the cloth that laid there. I parted from his lips and smiled at him as he waited for what I would do next. I sat up on him, looking down at his face. Smiling, I reached down and put my finger in his mouth. He tried to lay still as he sucked on it for a never-ending moment.

"Yusuke . . ." I groaned with delight. His tongue slowly wrapped around my finger, making my body burn even more. His tongue played with the tip of my finger for such a long time. I didn't want him to stop . . . but I slowly, reluctantly, pulled it from him. I took my finger and moved it toward my breasts. I gazed down at him I placed the finger on my skin. I lingered as I traced a line with his spit that lead down into my bra. I smiled and licked my lips. His face showed so much pleasure . . . such anticipation. He mouthed my name. His mouth curved up in a smile. I reached down and touched his face gently. Then . . . I quickly drew back my hand and slapped him on both sides of the face. As quickly as my hands slapped him, his red face turned from left to right in an instantaneous motion. His eyes widened as he realized I had slapped him. I could see in his face that he didn't see that coming. With my still body raging with heat and anger, I came down from him.

"**What in the HELL are you doing!?" **he screamed at me, exasperation overflowing in his voice. I closed up my bra and grabbed my dress from the floor. I quickly put it on and I looked at him . . . every part of him. His arms . . . his chest . . . his abs as they led down into his . . . I couldn't stop looking at him. His muscular form laid in front of me on the cushions of his couch. My body tried to calm down as I stared at him.

"We should talk, huh!?" I asked, outraged. "What took you so damn long? How long were you going to make me wait!?" Yusuke sat up now trying to cover up himself.

"**What in the HELL are you talking about!?**" He, too, was outraged.

"We were gonna talk, huh?" I was still trying to regain the air that had been taken from me just moments ago. "We were barely on speaking terms. In fact, we just started talking again today! If you wanted to talk so bad, why didn't you come to me!?" Yusuke looked at me, bewildered by my shouting. "I waited for a month . . . ! **A WHOLE **_**MONTH**_** I'VE WAITED FOR YOU! **And to think that I've been worried about you . . . that I still loved you!**"** I was panting now, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Keiko, you don't understand!" Yusuke said. The more he talked, the more funny his position seemed. "I . . . wanted to . . . I was coming to you . . . " Yusuke struggled to talk; his voice was trembling due to his aching genitals.

"Really. . . ?" I lifted an eyebrow. "Well, I had to come and find your **Sorry Ass,** didn't I !?" I started laughing. I walked up to him and tapped his face on the cheek. I picked up my sweater and looked at him. "Well . . . until you decide when it's a good time for us to 'talk', I'll be somewhere, not thinking about you!" I laughed as I walked away from him slowly, making sure he had a good look at me before I left. "Oh, Yusuke?" He looked up at me in pain. "You don't have to get up. I'll let myself out." I giggled as I slipped on my shoes, opened up the door, and slammed it behind me.

I was laughing to myself. That was awesome, I said, still laughing. What an ass! Serves him right, I smiled to myself. Stupid boys. They only have one thing on their minds all the time! I walked down the street. Time . . . time . . . **time? **I gasped. I looked at my watch. Oh no! If I don't hurry, I'll be late! I ran towards my home. Even while I was running, I laughed to myself. My revenge! I showed him, all right . . .


	6. Heated!

**Chapter 6- **_**Heated!**_

My mind was racing after what had happened between me and Yusuke. I couldn't believe that I had actually pulled it off. I couldn't help but laugh at his pain-filled face. I wonder what he's gonna do? I laughed again. I stopped right in front of the diner to catch my breath. It's getting pretty dark, I thought as I looked at the sky. I calmed down and got all of my laughs out. I composed myself and made sure my clothes and hair looked okay. Upon entering the diner, I saw my mother storing away a carton full of non-perishable foods.

"Is Daddy home yet?" I asked.

"No," answered my mother. She smiled at me and motioned for me to come near her. "Help me put this up and I'll be done . . ." I moved toward her and helped her carry the heavy load to the storage room. "Thank you," my mother said. "Now let's go upstairs and get all the food on the table." I followed my mother up the stairs and through the door. We went straight to the kitchen and picked up the different foods laying at the counter. I picked up a plate full of sushi while my mother picked up some rice and pot stickers. There was such a wide selection of seafood and vegetables. All of the food looked and smelled so good.

"When did you make these?" I asked her. "These weren't here before I left, were they?"

"Oh no," my mother retorted. "This food doesn't take long to make. I hadn't even started by the time you got home." She smiled as she said this. I heard the door open and slow footsteps approached us. I turned around and saw my father with and excited look on my face.

"There's my birthday girl . . .!" My father gave me a bear hug and squeezed me tightly.

"Hi, Daddy!" I smiled up at my loving father. He had a gift in his hand. He gave it to me and said, "I hope you like it . . ." I looked down at the rectangular box and opened it. I marveled at the gift inside . . . blue pens that shined in the light. They were so beautiful.

"Daddy, I love them," I replied with small tears in my eyes. I threw my arms up and hugged him. My father smiled and looked at me.

"Oh . . . we can't have you crying on your birthday." He wiped one of my tears away. "Today is a good day! Now what do you say if we go ahead and open the rest of your presents?" I smiled at my father. He always knew the right thing to say.

We made our way over to the living room, I sat on the recliner while my mother and father sat on the love seat. They passed me package after package. I felt like a little girl sitting there with them, the complete opposite from how I felt at Yusuke's house. I was everything but child-like when I was with him. I didn't really pay attention to what was going on around me. I didn't really care all that much for opening gifts. I got three sweaters from my grandparents (one black, another pink, and the last one dark blue), and money from other relatives. My mother gave me a new dress along with a small cook book full of different Japanese cuisines. Besides from those gifts, I didn't really pay attention to the others. I wonder how Yusuke is doing . . . I thought. I wonder if he's thinking about me right now. I, then, started laughing to myself. I fiddled at the last box in front of me. I guess I could've been nicer, I thought. I smiled to myself and I laughed even harder. I opened the box to reveal a picture frame with a photo of my cousins in it.

"Oh, look at that. It's so cute," I looked at it and smiled. My stomach growled as I realized, suddenly, how hungry I was. "So, is anyone as hungry as I am? I'm famished!" My father stood up and laughed.

"Keiko, dear, I'm always hungry!" my father's voice rumbled throughout the room. My mother cupped her mouth trying to stifle a laugh. We all made our way to the dining room. As I bent down on my knees to sit in my usual place, I looked at my mother and smiled at her. As she sat across from me, she looked at my father. My father looked at my mother and then he looked at me. He nodded to us and we began to eat. I picked up some sushi and planted it in my mouth. We ate in silence for a few moments. I was just enjoying the food as I looked out the window. Wow . . . it's getting late, isn't it?

"How was your day, Keiko?" my father asked me, his cheek full of rice. Distracted by my thoughts, I turned and I smiled at his question. I talked to my parents about how my friends didn't show up at the coffee shop that morning, how I ended up drinking coffee with Suiichi-kun instead. I told my father about my friends giving me a pendant and walking me home. That was basically all. I left all subjects that could lead to talk about Yusuke out of the conversation. I ate a couple of pot stickers and some more sushi. I thought to myself. The last thing I need to do is talk about him.

"How's Yusuke doing?" asked my mother, almost as if she was reading my thoughts. "You guys haven't been seeing each other lately."

"Yeah . . . how is that little punk?" my father added with pot stickers in his mouth. My body became _heated_ at the mere thought of talking about him. Calm down . . . I had to think about what to say. I thought about how they didn't know about our . . . month long separation . . .

"He's fine," I answered. "He was at school today." I popped some sushi in my mouth. "Not much happened. The usual . . . you know . . ." I trailed off. I couldn't eat anymore food since exhaustion was coming upon me. I stopped eating and stared at my parents as they talked. I was thinking about Yusuke again. How he had pressed on me so vigorously as he held me at his apartment. His kisses were so intense . . . as if he craved for me. He was waiting for me, wanting me. His eyes were burning into mine. He needed my _heat_ . . . my body. I got what I wanted, I thought. I got the kisses I hungered for . . . the _heat _I had been longing for. And for that, I smiled.

"Keiko?" my mother said. I looked at her. "Do you still have room for bunt cake?" I smiled and nodded at her. My father smiled. My mother went to the kitchen and came back with a cake covered in a light glaze, a small candle sitting on top. My parents sang "Happy Birthday" to me. I grinned as they sang. They waited for me to blow out the candle. I did so and my mother sliced the cake for me. I was handed a slice; I dug right in. I ate it quickly and excused myself from the table to take a shower and go to bed. I thanked them for my gifts and such a delicious meal. I kissed both of my parents on the cheek and left the room.

I went to my room and found my usual pajamas. I walked down the hallway toward the bathroom. Upon my entry of the bathroom, I closed the door behind me. I undressed for the third time in one day. I turned on the hot water and mixed in a small bit of cold. I slid open the door as I stepped in and enjoyed the _heat_ on my skin. The water ran through my hair as I touched my soaked body. I kept thinking about Yusuke on top of me and me . . . on top of him. He wanted me . . . I kept saying to myself, feeling all of the _heat _rushing back into every part of me once again. I couldn't help but lose myself as I thought back to how he absorbed my _heat_ . . . how I absorbed his. His kisses only got _hotter _and _hotter _as we continued on too, I said to myself, licking my lips at the thought.

I held myself as I remembered everything that had just happened a few hours ago. The memories were so fresh in my mind that my spine tingled over and over. Everything flashed in my head, reminding me of the _heat _he and I had created. He pressed down on me . . . touched me . . . rubbed on my skin. His _hot _fingers grabbed me as they caressed me. His _warm _mouth sucked on me, trying so hard to hang on to every last part . . . of me. I sighed as I stood there. His hands . . . the felt everything. My waist . . . my hips . . . my thighs . . . His hands touched them all.

"I want him to touch me again . . ." I whispered only loud enough for me to hear, sighing the words as I smiled. I tightened the grip I had on my arms as I stood there. He couldn't resist me. There was no way . . . he couldn't deny me . . . I started giggling to myself. I broke him too . . . I reminded myself. I left him in pain, hungering for the one thing that stood fully clothed in front of him. He deserved it. I smiled to myself, proud of my actions. Today was a good day, I thought.

I stepped out of the shower, beaming with happiness. I dried my long hair at a relaxed pace. I stepped into some fresh underwear and my pajamas. I was happy to be clean. I walked into my room, and toward my bed. I lifted up my blanket and got underneath it. I laid down, facing the wall. I waited for sleep and it came swiftly. I stared at the wall for a little longer, my eyes growing heavier and heavier. Thank you . . . God . . . for a . . . a good . . . day . . .

I was in the shower again. I was surrounded by the steam that the _hot _waterwas making. Each hot pellet landed on my skin, _burning _me little by little. My heavy, _hot _hair clung to my skin, causing me to feel a little pain. What's going on . . .? I asked myself. Why is it so _hot_ in here . . .? I thought. The water was making my skin _boil_. I reached for the knob to add some cold water. I could barely breathe. All . . . I need is . . . some . . . cool water, I said to myself. I struggled . . . and . . . finally, I turned the knob and stood up straight again. The cooler water was a relief to my skin. I slowly but surely regained my breath.

Out of nowhere, familiar, strong hands came around my waist and turned me. I looked up at the one who held me close and stood with me, completely naked. It was . . . Yusuke. With water falling down on us, I looked up into his eyes and I leaned in closer to his _warm_ chest. His strong arms held me . . . embraced me. His hand came and touched my face. He tilted my chin and he kissed me. I felt his tongue, indulging on the taste of mine. He parted our kiss, leaving me wanting more.

"Do you know . . . how much . . . I love you?" he asked me, practically panting. He came back to me again and his tongue dove into my mouth. His powerful hands squeezed me, traveling down my naked back all the way down to my hips. I ran my fingers through his wet hair. I couldn't resist letting my leg travel up the side of his, our _hot _skin rubbing against each other's. He withdrew from my mouth as he carefully pushed me up against the shower's wall. He slowly began lifting me up, his hands gripping my _hot_ skin. He looked at me and I stared at him as he did this.

"What are you doing . . . to me?" I asked him quietly. His _hot_ lips pressed against mine for yet another moment. He slowly pulled away, still staring at me with his amazing eyes. His mouth curved up into a smile, reassuring me. I smiled back at him, forgetting my question. Slowly . . . yet . . . suddenly I felt a new sensation inside of me . . . a sensation I had never felt before. Yusuke reared back his head as he groaned in pleasure. He slowly leaned in as if to kiss me again. I gasped softly, finally realizing what had just happened. Oh . . . my God . . .

"I love you, Keiko . . ." Yusuke moaned into my ear. I melted at the sound of his voice. He moved his hand onto my thigh supporting me while I was pressed up against the wall. My legs wrapped around him as I tried to get used to him being _inside _me. Words could not express how I felt at that moment. I moaned . . . unable to control my emotions. He felt so good against me . . . inside me. He looked at me with such passion in his eyes. I wrapped my arms around his neck as we stared at each other. I pulled him closer and kissed him, running my fingers through his hair again. I pulled away from his tender lips and rubbed my cheek against his.

"Make love to me . . ." I groaned into his ear . . . begging him. His body rose with _heat_ from my words as did mine. I could feel his _heat_ inside of me. My only true love had just become my lover . . . in just that instant. He was mine . . . all mine. He looked more handsome to me now than he ever had before. I looked at him with new eyes as he stood before me . . . against me . . .

He slowly took his cheek from mine and kissed me again. His tongue was so _hot_ as it moved in a way it never had before. I lost myself in the kiss, unable to deny him of what he wanted. Time lost all meaning as he pressed me harder against the wall with his _hot _body. He pulled his _hot_ tongue from my mouth and let it travel along my neck . . . slowly down to my chest . . . before he reached my breast. He sucked passionately on one . . . and then . . . the other. I felt new sensations throughout my whole body as he sucked on my skin. One hand squeezed my thigh while the other caressed my waist. I moaned uncontrollably as I squeezed my eyes tightly and let my head fall back, the _hot _water hitting my face. I couldn't stay quiet. He came back to my face and kissed me once more. Our _heated _tongues became one, moving together at all times. My hands moved up and down his _hot_ back, scratching him.

Then . . . Yusuke did something . . . strange. His hips began moving away and then back toward me, pulling out . . . and slowly pushing back in. I could feel him leaving and returning from inside of me. It . . . felt so . . . incredible. It . . . was . . . amazing! Unbelievable! He pulled away but I didn't care so long as he came back to me. What is he doing? I thought to myself, not really caring at that point. I didn't understand what he was doing . . . but I liked the way it felt. I didn't want him to stop. I sighed, feeling his every movement. I broke away from his _hot_ kiss to breathe. He groaned quietly from his pleasure as I did the same, still trying to gain the breath I had lost. I looked at him as he continued coming in and out of me.

"I love you . . ." I managed to say, feeling him coming back into me. I threw back my head once more, incapable of staying still. I needed his body . . . his _heat_ . . . as he needed mine. All of these feelings rushed up to my head, causing me to cry out in satisfaction. I had never felt such happiness in all of my life. Yusuke clutched me as I brought my face back in front of his. All I knew was that whatever I was feeling, it was blissful, never-ending pleasure. He kissed me again and stole my _hot _breath. Yusuke's _fiery_ body pressed so intensely against mine, his mouth and mine once again tangled in a _heated _connection. His _burning _arms hugged me . . . squeezed me . . . embraced me . . . I felt all of his weight . . . his power . . . his _heat_ . . . his love . . . all of it at once.

I wanted the moment to last . . . forever. It was just . . . so right . . . so . . . perfect . . .


	7. Thoughts of You

**Chapter 7- Thoughts of You**

I gasped and sat up in my bed. I was drenched in sweat, almost as if I had just jumped out of hot water. It was a dream . . . I grabbed my chest, feeling my heart excitedly beating. My body was raging with so many different sensations. My mind and my heart were racing. I was astonished by the thought of him and I in the shower . . . together. I regained my breath and laid back down. There was light outside, so it was definitely daytime. I looked over at my clock. It read 9:48. I guess I didn't set the alarm, I thought to myself. I sat up again. My mind had many thoughts to sort out. One after another . . . after another . . .

'Yusuke . . .'

'I have to get up now.'

'We were . . .!'

'I'll be late.'

'Did we . . . did that really happen?'

'I have to. . . open the Ramen Shop today.'

I got out of bed and walked to the door. I ran to the bathroom. Oh my God . . . I . . . I thought . . . that we had . . . I looked at myself in the mirror as I sorted out my thoughts, my body still raging. I must have been rolling around a lot last night . . . My hair's a mess. I quickly brushed my hair and my teeth and scampered back to my room. I found a dark blue sweater and I put it on with a light blue skirt. I grabbed up my hair and tied it up into a bun so that it wouldn't be in my way. I left my room and I walked quickly down the hallway.

I entered the living room. I looked around and saw no one. They must be down in the diner, I thought. I slipped into my shoes and walked out of the door. I walked downstairs, hurrying to see if my mother and father were busy. As I came down, I could hear people talking . . . a lot of people. When I was at the bottom of the stairs, I saw them. People chattering, happily eating breakfast. Oh yeah . . . Saturday is always a big business day, I reminded myself. I walked behind the counter.

"Keiko!" My father greeted. "Hon . . . looked who decided to wake up?"

"Good morning, Daddy." My mother peeped around the corner and waved. I simply smiled at her. "I have to go open up the Ramen Shop. I'll see you two later."

"Be careful!" my mother yelled. I nodded at her and went out of the door. I ran in the direction of the Ramen Shop. It was six blocks away and . . . I lost some time oversleeping. I looked at my watch which read 9:55. I can make it, I thought.

I managed to get there . . . but not on time. I got there five minutes after ten. _Dammit_, I thought. I'm late . . . but not too late! I went to the door realizing that it was already opened. Upon my entry, there wasn't a single customer in sight. Yusuke must have forgotten to lock the door the last time we were here, I said to myself, worrying for a moment that something may have been stolen. My moment's worries faded as I went around to the back of the counter and put on my apron. As I put on my apron, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Welcome to the 'Ramen Shop'. How can I . . ." I realized who it was as I turned around. "Yusuke . . ."

"You're late today," he said to me. "Good thing I live close by. People do want Ramen sometime today!" Yusuke spoke to me harshly. I couldn't blame him . . . I left him while he 'needed' me. I laughed to myself.

"Sorry . . . I overslept," I said gazing into his brown eyes. He sighed as he broke our glance. I stared at him, still laughing to myself. He was wearing an apron too. I looked at his jeans and then his black sweater, clinging to his broad shoulders. His hair was free still, waving gently as a small breeze passed between us. He hadn't slicked it back in a while, I thought. Without warning . . . an image from my dream flashed in my mind.

His wet body . . . my wet body . . . together in such . . . pleasure . . . as one.

I gasped remembering the heat of that moment. Yusuke's glance suddenly came to me, confused by my small outburst. One of his eyebrows shot up.

"What in the hell are you staring at? Start working . . ." I blinked, regaining my focus. Yusuke walked to the counter and started fiddling with the cash register. I looked at him with his back toward me.

His strong . . . muscular . . . back.

I diverted my eyes and went to the stoves in the kitchen. I clicked all of them on and started boiling pots of water. It never takes long for them to boil, I said to myself. I walked to the storage room to pick up the noodles I needed. As bent down to pick some up and realized that we were starting to run low on our specialty noodles. I might have to put in some overtime... I said to myself. I need to start making more before we run out completely. Those thoughts on my mind, I picked up some soba and ramen noodles and carried them out. When I came back, I went over to the sink and washed my hands. I should be set . . . at least for now, I told myself.

I could see Yusuke greeting people at the door as they walked in, when I returned to the kitchen. He was so polite when it came to work. So unlike his school persona he worked so hard to keep up. Why couldn't he be like that all of the time? Kind. . . friendly. . . maybe even gentle . . . all the time.

So gentle . . . like he was in the shower last night. . .

The thought caught me off guard as it passed through my head. I shook it off and focused on what Yusuke was doing instead. I watched him as he took orders from a group of four people through a glassless window in the wall that separated the kitchen from the front of the working area. "Keiko . . .! I'm going to need two chickens, one shrimp, and a special," Yusuke said to me leaning over the counter. I nodded to him as I opened up a bag full of fresh soba noodles and began adding them to a medium-sized boiling pot. Then I tore into some of our special ramen noodles and put them in a large pot of nearly boiling water. After a few minutes of the noodles cooking, I took out three seperate bowls and put some of the then flavorless ramen into each one. For each bowl, I added some spices; to two of them I added some cooked chicken pieces that I had prepared earlier during the week; I stir-fried some shrimp and added them to one bowl. I stirred the bowls up, adding herbs and a little extra kick before carefully checking for taste.

"That's pretty good. . . " I whispered to myself.

"Keiko, I need three more chickens." I continued to cook, adding about three more servings of noodles a new pot, though its water wasn't boiling yet. I frantically scooped out the noodles and waited for the water to get to boiling point. Jeez . . . thank goodness I realized the water wasn't boiling . . . or I would have messed them up, I said to myself, mad at my mistake yet relieved taht I had corrected it. I went to another pot and took out the soba noodles. Quickly, I started preparing them accordingly for the special that was ordered, adding in onions, peas, other vegetables and some tofu.

For a few minutes, I scurried between bowls and somehow managed to keep myself from mixing up anything (like Yusuke would do sometimes . . .) Once I had the first four bowls prepared, all ready to go and full of flavor, I placed the bowls onto a tray. I made my way out of the kitchen and carried them to the counter.

"Order one," I called to him. He walked over to me and picked up the tray. He looked at me and said, "I need an oriental, beef, and . . ."

" . . . And what?" I questioned. He hesitated as he stared at me. "Yusuke . . . what's wrong?" His eyes were so intense . . . I blushed. His senses returned to him.

"That's all," he replied. He slowly turned around to go to his first table. I went on my way to the stoves and finished up some nearly done ramen noodles. After a few minutes of preparing seasonings and meats, I had three bowls ready and rearing to go. Just a few extra touches, I said to myself, smiling. It was getting so hot in the kitchen. I looked down at the contents in the pot as I thought of Yusuke. I thought of him and I in the shower, hot water pouring all over our naked, heated bodies. I sighed trying to get rid of my excited emotions. Focus, I told myself. I poured each one into its own bowl and placed them on a tray.

"Order two," I called, placing it on the counter. He walked over and picked it up. I watched him walk away from me. His legs . . . his back . . . Another image from my dream flashed in my head.

I was pressed up against the wall of the shower by his hot body. Moaning with him . . . absorbing him . . .

I felt a hot shiver throughout every part of me. I held myself trying to shake the intense heat that overcame me again. I walked back to the kitchen, preparing to finish the next order.

"I need two shrimps . . . to go," ringed Yusuke's voice after a couple of minutes. I walked to the counter to place the next order.

"Here's order three," I said as I placed the hot food on the counter in front of him. Yusuke picked up the tray.

"She'll have your 'take out' in a moment . . ." said Yusuke to two people standing in front of the register. I returned to my station at the stoves. Yusuke joined me in the kitchen to help out moments later. He went over to the sink and washed his hands before he started stirring a pot of cooking noodles. He walked to the storage room. I looked at him as he walked away. He returned just moments later with some more seasonings and such. He looked at me. I averted my eyes almost immediately. I blushed as I walked to the counter with the 'take out' order.

"Here's your order. Two shrimp Ramen. That will be . . . 10500 yen," I smiled at the couple standing in front of me.

"The food here is worth the money!" the man said enthusiastically. The women next to him clang onto his arm, grinning at me. I smiled at them. The man handed me the money.

"Enjoy your meal and have a nice day," I responded. They nodded and walked out of the door. I walked back to the kitchen to join Yusuke and continued to finish the rest of the orders. He looked over at me, leaning over to see something. I looked up at him.

"What . . .? Have you never seen noodles before?" I smirked, amused by his strange behavior. He quickly continued doing his job. He put some bowls on the tray and began walking out of the kitchen. But he suddenly stopped. He turned around and looked at me. Our eyes locked onto each other. Why is he staring at me . . .? He was gazing at my soul. Can he read. . . my thoughts? I asked myself, my nervousness taking over me. Maybe he has new spiritual powers that allows him to look into my head. The thought was a funny one. . .but it was quickly replaced by another image from last night's dream.

I saw him, once more, squeezing me . . . touching me . . . sucking on me. . . his hungry mouth searching for. . . something hidden in my hot skin. . .

I quickly turned away, breaking his glance. My beating heart raced. I needed to catch my breath. Oh my God . . . That dream, I thought. How could a simple dream do all of this to me? I shook off my racing heart and turned arounda again to the stoves feeling uneasy. It . . . it just . . . felt so real.

Hour by endless hour, the day went on. I wanted to get away from him. I tried to work, but I kept daydreaming, remembering my dream. I felt myself . . . wanting him . . . craving the heat that I felt in my dream. If only a fraction of that heat could be mine, my wanting would fade away. . . or so I wanted to believe. I looked at my watch; it read 4:27. This place closes at 5:00. I had to serve a table of four people. I finished up the bowls I'd been working on and headed out of the kitchen. I moved toward the people at the table.

"Who wanted chicken?" A man waved at me and smiled as I placed the bowl in front of him. "And . . . who wanted the beef?" A woman raised a finger and I came to her. "So . . . I'm guessing you two got oriental?" The two girls in front of me nodded as they tried to reach for their bowls. "Be careful, it's hot," I warned as I placed the food in front of them. The little ones dug right into their noodles, slurping and playing with the fishcakes floating on the surface with their chopsticks. I turned to walk away . . . but I felt a tap on my back. I turned around to notice one of the girls looking at me. "What is it, sweetie?"

"What is that boy's name?" the girl asked me. I bent down so I could hear her clearly. She looked about ten years old. She had a cute, pleasant smile on her face.

"Oh . . .? You mean him . . . over there?" I pointed to Yusuke. The girl nodded. "That's Yusuke. He's my . . . partner." She looked at him and giggled.

"He's so cute," the girl giggled.

"Yeah . . ." interrupted her sister, who looked a few years younger. "He's so tall and dreamy. He must be the handsomest guy in the world."

"Is he nice?" asked the older girl.

"He's pretty nice . . . when you get to know him," I looked over at him; he tilted his head up from the cash register as he looked at us. I smiled at him and he smiled back. I could tell he was listening to the girl's comments. The girl gasped.

"He's looking at us," the younger girl said, blushing. The older girl leaned over toward me and said in a loud whisper, "Could you tell him that I love him and that one day he'll be my husband?" Her parents laughed at the question. "We'll keep coming back as long as he serves us Ramen." The younger girl nodded at that remark. I glanced over a Yusuke, now looking down at the register, smiling.

"Yeah!" I answered her. "And . . . if he doesn't . . . I'll make him! I promise. " The girls smiled gleefully. I stood up and bowed to the family. "Enjoy your meal . . ." Still grinning, I walked away. I got past the counter. The family was the last table we needed to serve. No one else was coming. I started cleaning up the counter as I watched the family eat and talk. The little girls were so cute, so innocent. Yusuke was in the kitchen. He was washing the dishes. I went into the kitchen to join him. He looked at me as I stood next to him. "You heard them . . . they like you." I smiled at him.

"I heard," he answered. He was looking down at the bowl in front of him.

"If they come back, they want you to serve them Ramen..." I said to him, unable to look at him completely. "They're so adorable . . ." Yusuke gazed over at me and smiled.

"You did a good job today." He acted as if he had something else to say to me. I looked at him, turning toward him.

"Is something wrong . . .?" I asked him. He turned and faced me. We were facing each other, staring. I touched his face as he gazed into my eyes. His hand came up to caress the hand I had placed on his cheek. His eyes were calm now, kind even. They were nothing like they were in my dream. In my fantasy, they were so intense, flaming with a passion surrounded by so much heat. I wanted him to lean to me . . . to kiss me. . . to hold me again . . . So badly I wanted this, but I couldn't let my anger go. . . not yet. No! I told myself. I realized that I had to go get the check for our last table. I let go of his face, slipping out of his hand's grasp, and walked away from him. I went to the cash register to get the bill. I saw the family sipping up the last of their dishes.

"The food was good," the older girl said.

"Yeah! Really . . . really delicious!" exploded the other girl.

"I'm glad to hear it," I said smiling at them. "Here's your bill," I said as I passed the small paper to the man sitting nearby. I stacked all of bowls on top of each other and picked them up. "I hope you enjoyed your meal. Come to the register when you're ready." I walked away from them as I had moments ago. I went to the kitchen and put the bowls next to Yusuke. He looked at me as I placed the bowls down. I headed toward the door, looking at him as I walked out. I stood and waited at the register for the family to leave. I looked at my watch; it was 4:58. I looked up and saw the family walking toward me.

"The food was good as always," said the man with cheer. I looked at him and then at his children.

"I'm glad to hear that, sir. That will be . . . 24500 yen." The man brought out some money and passed it to me. I gave him change and smiled. The family started on their way out of the door. The cute girls waved . . . but didn't look at me as they left. I couldn't help but wave back. I turned around to see Yusuke behind me, waving. "They're waving at you?" I laughed. Yusuke was blushing.

"They are cute, aren't they?" he replied. He looked at me and smiled. His curved lips made my back tingle. He looked so kind . . . so charming . . . at least in my eyes. It's been so long since I've seen him smile like that, I said to myself, wondering why I was so fascinated by his caring face. I was so glad to see his smile for some reason. I never realized that I missed his smile so much until that moment . . . but then again, I missed a lot of the little things that Yusuke used to do. He's so handsome today . . . I said to myself.

Attempting to ignore my wandering thoughts, I walked away to the kitchen and began putting away the dishes. I removed my gloves and laid them on the counter. I was happy that the work day was finally over. I reached up to put the last bowl into its proper place when I felt Yusuke's hands caress my sides. His strong hands rested on my waist as he squeezed me carefully. My back froze as I closed the cabinet, my body quivering with his unexpected touch. What is he doing? I asked myself, feeling his gentle fingers on my body. His hands lingered upon me, waiting for my next move. Each squeeze full of such power. . . yet holding back somehow. . . I turned around, shocked to feel him holding me for what seemed like a dozen moments.

"Why are you--?" Out of no where, Yusuke's lips came to mine, brushing against them and . . . teasing me. I was taken by surprise by his warm lips on mine . . . but . . . I did nothing to stop him.I . . . didn't want him to stop. I allowed my hand feel on his face as his lips continued to lightly press on mine. He carefully pulled away from me, leaving me swooning in his embrace. That's strange. I thought he was still furious about yesterday. But I guess . . . I was . . . wrong. I looked into his dazzling, brown eyes. His strong hands pulled me closer and closer to him.

Suddenly . . . there came an urge deep inside, telling me that the touch of his lips wasn't enough. I needed more than his lips . . . I wanted the warmth . . . of his mouth. "Kiss me . . ." I whispered to him before I could catch myself, remembering the passionate kisses we had shared just yesterday. He slowly leaned in and did so. I closed my eyes. His tongue came into my mouth just moments later. His tongue tasted so good. I could feel him taking my breath with every passing moment. Even though his kiss was simple, it was so passionate . . . so sweet . . . so warm. Never let me go, I begged him in my mind. I just wanted him to hold me in his arms.

I sucked on his mouth, unable to stop myself. This kiss slowly deepened, stealing us both from reality. His hands moved more tightly around my waist, hugging me. I indulged upon feeling the fabric that covered his strong arms. Suddenly . . . I saw more flashes in my mind.

One moment: I could see him saying, 'Do you know how much I love you?' as his hot, wet chest pressed . . . against my breasts.

The next instant: His wet hips coming towards me . . . then moving away from me. . . and the sensations that followed each push and pull.

My overpowering memory took me over so quickly that my mind began seeing the dream over in my head, each moment and picture captured in a horrible yet wonderful memory. Just by remembering the dream, my whole body wanted him so much more. I couldn't take it . . .! I backed away from his kiss immediately; I was getting too excited. He stared at me as I looked at him with small tears in my eyes. As I stared at him, I could see the worry written across his face. Why do I want you so badly? I asked myself in my mind. Why do these thoughts keep coming to me . . .? Slowly, I walked away, moving toward the exit of the kitchen. "I'm going . . . home."


	8. Unexpected Guest

**Chapter 8- Unexpected Guest**

I walked home, strolling briskly. I looked behind me, hoping that Yusuke wasn't following close behind. I needed to cool down. My God . . . What's wrong with me? A tear fell down my cheek. I love him so much . . . I want him so badly . . . My love . . . My Yusuke . . .Why did I have that dream . . .? Why did I ask him to kiss me . . .? Why did I _let _him kiss me . . .? I slowed down, nearing my home. My heart, finally, slowed down. I stopped at the door of the diner. I bent over to catch my breath, clutching onto my knees. I can't let my parents see me this way, I scolded myself.

I stood there paralyzed as I tried to clear my mind. Images from the dream zipped through it, reminding me of everything that my body could possibly want.

His movements . . . his heat . . . his passion . . . his love. . .

I was drifting between reality and fantasy. I'm fretting over something that didn't happen . . . a stupid dream, I told myself. I paused and then sighed as a shiver took over me. It was just a fantasy. . . A very . . . vivid . . . fantasy. I shook of the sudden shiver and blinked a few times in attempt to remove the images from my minde. Breathe . . . Keiko, I said to myself before standing straight up once more. I opened the door and saw my parents sitting at one of the tables. It just didn't happen, I told myself at last, finding some sad excuse for resolve as I made my way inside. My parents laughed upon my entry.

"Hey, what's so funny?" I asked, happy to hear their hardy laughter.

"Keiko, dear, you still have your apron on," my father said, glowing with glee. I looked down embarrassed by my mistake.

"Keiko," my mother said, recovering from laughter. "How did the Ramen Shop do today?"

"It was good business, Mama," I grinned. I walked over to my father and hugged him around the shoulders. I kissed him on the cheek.

"Was Yusuke at the Ramen Shop today?" my mother asked.

"Yeah. We just worked like we always do," I replied, a little uneasy with my answer.

"I hope you're hungry," my father said. "We have some more sushi and some leftovers." I smiled at my father. He always said the perfect thing.

"You must be tired. Why don't you go freshen up upstairs? We'll be there in a minute," my mother said while grinning. I told her, "That's a great idea! I'll be ready in a flash." I ran upstairs and got inside of the door as soon as possible. Breathe, Keiko, I silently ordered myself. I walked through the living room and down the hallway. I stepped inside of my room and closed the door behind me. My mind rushed with thoughts of Yusuke. All I wanted at that very moment. . . was to be with him. My body was beginning to heat up again.

Why do I feel this way? I asked myself, burning on the inside. I just want to touch him . . . hold him. I shouldn't be left alone with him. I might--

I shook off the thought. I need to take off this sweater. It's so hot in here, I thought. Desperately trying to cool off, I opened up the closet and found a small, white, sleeveless t-shirt. I pulled off my stupid apron, my sweater, and my bra and put on the t-shirt in their place. I walked to my mirror and looked at myself. I took my hair out of the bun. I stared at myself as my hair gently fell down onto my shoulders . I picked up a nearby brush and harshly ran it through a couple of times as if each stroke would erase my thoughts. Look at me . . . I said to myself. I'm an emotional wreck. I keep thinking about him. I . . . I can't even think straight!

I went back to my closet to find something else instead of a skirt. I just need to relax right now . . . I need to get him out of my head, I told myself. I pulled out some light blue, loose-fitting pants and slipped them on. I got down on my knees and reached under my bed. I pulled out my white slippers. I felt so much better . . . so much cooler. I left my room and I walked to the bathroom. I washed my face. The cool water ran down my skin, relieving me of the heat I still felt boiling inside of me.

"Keiko . . ." I heard my father call. "What's taking so long? Are you still alive?" I stepped out of the bathroom.

"Yeah, Daddy." I answered as I walked quickly down the hallway to the living room. "I feel so . . ." I stopped, interrupted by the sight I saw. I looked at my mother and father standing at the door. Behind them . . . I saw the face I had been trying to escape all day. " . . . much better . . ." I finished. I glared at Yusuke as he looked at me. Dammit! How long must you torment me with your . . . handsome . . . face?

"Hey Keiko." Yusuke smiled at me.

" . . . Hi," I said. I walked toward my parents and kissed them each on the cheek. "I'm hungry," I said, smiling.

"We invited Yusuke up when he came here looking for you," my mother said, giggling. "He'll be staying for dinner if that's alright with you." I couldn't deny them. They were both smiling at me. Yusuke face was full of uncertainty and perhaps even. . .objection.

"He can stay. We've got so much food leftover anyway," I said as I looked at my parents and then at Yusuke. I was glad to see him . . . yet . . . I was angry he came. My parents led me and Yusuke to the table. My father bent down to sit in his usual place, at the head of the table, while Yusuke and I sat next to each other across from where my mother would sit. My mother went to the kitchen to go get the food. Yusuke and I were stuck in the stare of my father. I was kind of nervous. I was so ecstatic to be sitting next to him. But . . . why is he here? I wondered. He looked so pleasant sitting next to me. I looked at him in his black sweater. He's so attractive when his hair isn't slicked back. I guess either way, he's still. . . pretty cute, I cautiously reminded myself. He looks younger and a little more mature like this. Yusuke looked at me. I think he was trying to figure out why I was staring at him.

"Is something wrong, Keiko?" he asked. I shook my head and turned away quickly. My mother returned with a sushi plate in one hand and a stack of four empty plates in the other. She carefully placed the sushi plate in the middle of the table and then she put a plate in front of each of us, including her yet-to-filled place at the table. She smiled at Yusuke and said, "I'm so glad you could join us. We don't have company very often anymore."

"Thank you for allowing me . . . to . . . eat with you," said Yusuke, trying to search for the right words. There was an awkward silence. I had to do something before I went crazy.

"Mama, I'll help you," I promptly stood up and went to her. I walked away from the table still listening to the strange quiet that was unbearable. As we were in the kitchen, my mother started giggling to herself.

"What's so funny, Mama?" She looked at me, grinning.

"You looked so shocked to see him," she said to me. Then she sighed as she said, "I remember when I was that young. . ." I thought she was going to continue with some sort of story, but she didn't. She became nostalgic for a moment before returning to reality. Her eyes squinted as she smiled from ear. "Oh, Keiko. You two make such a cute couple . . ." I smiled nervously, hoping that my father or Yusuke couldn't hear her. "You two haven't been spending too much time together lately, have you?"

"We're getting older now. We've got more to do nowadays . . ." I answered quickly, trying to avoid any more awkward silences. "Well . . . let's hurry. I'm sure the _boys _are really hungry." My mother nodded to me and we left the kitchen carrying pot stickers, rice, and noodles.

"I hope you guys are good and hungry. We've got plenty," said my mother, still happy and beaming. I placed the bowl of rice on the table and returned to Yusuke's side. My mother, finally, sat down across from us. Yusuke looked kind of strange sitting there, well-behaved. I can't see him like this all of the time, I thought to myself. I want to be with him . . . _alone_. Scratch that thought, I said to myself. The last thing I need is to be alone with him. I allowed my thoughts to fade away for a moment into the silence that surrounded us. We all just sat there, motionless. I don't know what we were all waiting for.

"Yusuke . . . aren't you hungry?" my father asked, glaring.

"Yes . . . sir," Yusuke answered.

"Take something. Guests take first," my father said, still staring. Yusuke smiled and reached for some sushi. One . . . two . . . three . . . four . . . "Not too many, boy," my father said. "The women are hungry too." My mother and I looked at each other. Okay . . . I thought to myself. Why is Daddy acting so strange? Daddy usually treats Yusuke so nicely. . . despite Yusuke's problems and sense of humor. I reached for some rice and a pot sticker. I looked over at Yusuke, who was half-way through his second piece of sushi. He looked at me and smiled. I smiled back this time. I turned to look at my father who was filling up his plate with pot stickers. I raised my chopsticks and ate some rice. My father placed a pot sticker in his mouth and chewed merrily.

"So . . . Yusuke," my mother said. "How have you been? We haven't seen you in a while."

"I'm doing fine. I actually moved into my own apartment just a few weeks ago," Yusuke replied. I felt a little relieved to hear his voice. He seemed a little more relaxed now.

"It's about time he did something right . . .!" said my father under his breath. Yusuke looked briefly at my father. I couldn't tell if he had said it loud enough for Yusuke to hear. I laughed quietly at my father's words, trying to brush them off. There was another awkward silence.

"I've been wondering what his place looks like . . ." I lied, trying to break the silence. I've already seen it, I thought to myself, remembering my surprise visit there on my birthday. Yusuke looked at me, puzzled by what I had just told my parents. I reached for some sushi and I popped it into my mouth. "We probably should start spending more time together . . . don't you think, Yusuke?" Yusuke, still puzzled, nodded with rice in his mouth.

"Why didn't you visit on Keiko's birthday?" my mother asked. "You're welcome to come here if you're hungry." Yusuke smiled at her question as he reached for some pot stickers.

"I'm sorry. Something came up yesterday. I had to take care of it first. If I had come over, it would have been at an unreasonable hour." Good answer . . . I thought to myself. My father looked at him suspiciously. I couldn't help but wonder why my father was acting so strangely, his eyes searing holes into the side of Yusuke's face. I looked at the two men as one talked to my mother and the other glared skeptically. My mother nodded as Yusuke continued to talk. My mother started talking about what I had gotten on my birthday. This is so boring . . . I thought. I didn't really hear what Yusuke was saying, but it sounded like polite conversation. My father looked as if he were boiling on the inside.

"In speaking of presents . . . Keiko?" my mother said. "Did you ever show your father that pretty pendant you got from your friends?" I thought about her question. I hadn't showed it to him yet so I shook my head, answering her question.

"I'll go get it," I responded. I stood up and quickly went off to my room to get it. Just a few seconds later, I was in my room. I walked to my dresser to grab my pendant. It wasn't there. Where did I put it? I walked over to my mirror and looked there. It wasn't there either. I got down on my knees and looked under my bed. It . . . wasn't there! I went to the laundry room and looked through the clothes I had worn on my birthday. The pendant wasn't there either. Did I misplace it? How could I lose such a precious thing? I tried to think of where I could have put it. The bathroom . . . no. The kitchen . . . no. The Ramen Shop . . . I didn't even have it on today. Oh well . . .

A little out of breath, I returned to the dining room. Discouraged by my luck, I sat down next to Yusuke once more. "I couldn't find it. It's laying around here somewhere . . ." My voice trailed as I tried to think about where my pendant had gone. I looked at my parents. I felt really sad now that I couldn't find my pendant. They were talking amongst themselves. My friends gave me that pretty little thing . . . and now I've lost it. Where did I put it?

Suddenly, my hand was taken over by total warmth. A familiar hand was on mine underneath the table. My heart started pounding as the strong hand held on to my own. Yusuke was holding my hand, my palm upward. I felt something in my hand as his hand gently closed mine before pulling away. So quickly the action took place that I had no time to guess why had done what he did. What did he do? I asked myself, wondering what he had given me. I stared at my closed hand, confused. . . and a bit curious. I slowly opened my hand . . . and there sat my friends . . . in a shiny, silver oval. It was. . . my pendant! I stopped myself from gasping as I stared at it. My pendant, I said myself. How did he get this . . .?

"I'm sorry that you couldn't find it. It was such a cute little thing too!" My mother said, dispirited by my news. I looked at her and I got an idea.

"Wait a minute . . ." I said as I dug into one of my pockets, pretending as if the pendant had been there all along. I pulled it out and displayed it. "It was in my pocket!" I laughed. "How clumsy of me . . ." My father leaned in to look at it more closely.

"It's pretty," he said. I smiled and I placed it around my neck. I was so glad to have it back in my possession. I looked at Yusuke and mouthed 'Thank you' to him. He nodded and he continued to eat his dinner.

The meal dragged on. My father seemed so oddly uncomfortable. My mother seemed extremely cheerful to see me and Yusuke together. Yusuke and my parents continued to talk on . . . Sometimes there were strange pauses but somehow we got through it. It was a really awkward meal. _Finally _dinner came to a close. As we finished, my mother and I put the empty plates into the sink. Shortly after, we returned and I sat down.

"Would anyone like some cake?' my mother asked. My father nodded while Yusuke and I refused the offer for extra food.

"I couldn't eat another bite," Yusuke said. "The food was really good." My mother smiled at his polite remark. My mother left to get a slice of cake for my father. While she was gone and even when she returned, there was another awkward silence. My father smiled at the plate sitting in front of him and he started shoveling it into his face. Daddy looks really funny when he stuffs himself, I thought. He ate the poor cake in a matter of moments. My mother got back up again and returned with tea. She offered some to me and Yusuke; we both turned her down.

"Well . . . let's go close down the diner," my mother said to my father. He looked at us uncomfortably. He nodded. . . but was quite hesitant in leaving us.

"We'll be back in about fifteen minutes," my father said as they were half-way out of the door. My mother was practically dragging my father out.

"Do you want our help?" I asked.

"If you guys started soaking the dishes up here, that would be fine," my mother smiled. I nodded to her and she disappeared with my father shutting the door behind them. I looked at Yusuke and he looked at me. I stood up quickly and went to the kitchen. I stopped at the sink and turned on the water. Such an uneasy feeling came over me as I ran my fingers through the flowing water to check the temperature. My body was frozen in front of the sink as the fact began to sink in. I was alone with Yusuke. . . and just as I thought this, I felt Yusuke walk up behind me.

"That was pleasant," he said. I listened to the sound of his voice behind me. I wanted him to leave . . . but . . . I wanted him to stay. I put soap in the water and waited for the sink to fill up. While I waited, I turned around to see what Yusuke was doing. He was right behind me. I looked up at him as he looked down at me, just inches of space between usl. . .

"Why . . . did you come here?" I asked him. So many images were flashing in my mind following my question. I wanted so badly to touch his naked chest . . . to be pressed up against the wall by his body. . . to run my fingers through his wet hair. I removed myself from my brief moment of dazing. We're not in the shower, I reminded myself.

"I needed to return your pendant. You left it at my place . . . the day you came," he told me awkwardly, his cheeks glowing pink a bit as he said it. I shook all over as I recalled all that had happened. That all happened . . . just yesterday, didn't it . . .? I asked myself. My birthday . . . my dream. My God . . . what a day that was! I watched as placed his hand on my shoulder. "Why didn't you tell them about coming over to see me?"

"They would . . . get the wrong idea. Especially Daddy. . ." I said quietly. "I couldn't bring myself to tell them. So . . . I . . ."

"I understand," said Yusuke. He didn't seem angry with me about not telling my parents about us. "So they think we've been apart, huh?" I nodded. He looked as though he was tossing an idea around in his head. I looked at him. For some reason, I felt so uncomfortable being so close to him. Did they leave me alone with him on purpose? His face. . . his body. . . was so close to me.

Kiss me . . . you fool, I said to him in my mind. What am I saying?! I shook off the sudden thought.

I removed his hand from my shoulder and turned around. I turned off the water and walked out of the kitchen. I went to the living room with Yusuke close behind me, his steps in sync with mine in some sort of soft rhythm along the floor. I sat down on the couch and turned on the T.V. Yusuke sat down on the other side of the couch. Why didn't he sit next to me? I turned the channel not knowing what to look at. I looked at my watch; it read 6:22. Looking over, I saw Yusuke gazing at me. What is he doing? I asked myself. He looked as if he were thinking about something. A mischievous smile appeared on his face.

"What is it?" I asked; I wasn't really sure I wanted to know. "Why are you staring at me?"

"You look bored . . ." Yusuke replied. What in the world is he talking about? I motioned for him to sit closer. He got up and sat down right next to me. I laid my head on his shoulder while he took up my hand and lightly kissed it and I couldn't help but smile at his charming gesture. He leaned toward me. I guess he was trying to kiss me. His lips were so tempting as I watched them come closer and closer to my own. I wanted to toy with him, so I leaned in the opposite direction. With my hand still in his grasp, he pulled me back toward him and kissed me. I let him too. I couldn't deny myself. His lips gently pressed in to mine as his hand pulled me closer. I closed my eyes as I put my hand on his face. His arms wrapped around me as I caressed the skin of his cheek. I wanted to be in his embrace; it was so comfortable . . . so warm . . . so safe. After a moment, our tongues met each other and quarreled. I melted in his arms, hoping my parents wouldn't walk in and see us so _close_. Yusuke pulled away from me, still squeezing me in his powerful arms. "Let's go somewhere," he said. Somewhere? To bed? No . . . no! I shook all over, trying to rid myself of my strange thoughts.

"Where would we go . . .? What would we do . . .?" I asked, waiting for a good suggestion. "Well . . ." He slowly came closer and kissed me lightly. " . . .we could . . ." He kissed me again. ". . . spend time . . ." He kissed me once more. " . . . together." I smiled at him. He's trying to be romantic, I giggled to myself, my insides tingling. He's so cute . . .

"You're . . . too . . . vague," I said, making fun of the timing in his voice. His smile only grew larger. That smile, I thought. It's so beautiful, yet . . . so bad. I pushed him off of me and went to the closet. I pulled out a light blue jacket and I slipped on my shoes that were sitting near the door. I turned around and waited for him to come over to the door. Yusuke stood up and walked to me. He grabbed my waist and kissed me again. I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders, treasuring every moment his arms embraced me. I pulled away from him, laying my head on his chest. I just wanted him to hold me in his safe arms. We stood there, holding each other in silence. Yusuke . . . how I've missed you this last month. Holding you . . . seeing you . . . I even missed how you annoy me. . . and how we argue. Yusuke's arms tightened around me, almost as if responding to the thoughts I was having. I smiled at his sudden hug.

"I . . . love you," Yusuke said, breaking the silence. I gasped at the three words escaping Yusuke's lips. I was so shocked to hear him say those words. How long I have waited to hear him say it . . . I couldn't breathe for a moment. I could feel my eyes watering. I held him tighter as I began to I blush.

"I love you too . . ." I whispered back. His body relaxed as his arms squeezed me. I was melting in his powerful embrace. Silence surrounded us as we stood there, holding each other in our newfound love for one another. You love me . . . and I love you. That is how it will stay, I said to myself, floating away in my blissful thoughts. Please . . . hold me . . . forever, I said in my mind. But after a moment of floating away, I caught myself and came back to reality. We don't have forever, I said to myself, thinking of my parents downstairs. We walked out of the door and walked down to the closing diner. "Mama . . . Daddy?" My parents were sitting at one of the tables. They were giggling quietly amongst themselves.

"What is it, Keiko?" My mother looked up at us.

"Me and Yusuke are going out for a while . . . Is that okay?"

" . . . Yes," my mother answered after a short pause to think about my question. She turned around and looked at my father who was now standing as he looked at us. He's up to something . . .

"Come here . . . Yusuke." Yusuke looked at me and then he walked to my father. My mother and I looked at each other as we watched Yusuke walk to the chopping block. My father leaned over to Yusuke's ear and whispered something to him. Yusuke smiled nervously and nodded. My father straightened up and smacked Yusuke on the back. "Have her back home by 9:00!" my father roared. I looked at my father, partially laughing but wondering what he'd told Yusuke. My father can be kind of odd sometimes. Yusuke smiled; I could tell that he was talking to himself. Then he looked over at me.

"Well . . . shall we go, Keiko?" Yusuke offered his hand to me and I walked over to him. I nodded to both of my parents and Yusuke just simply smiled at them. We walked toward the door as Yusuke suddenly turned around. "I'll have her home on time. Don't worry."


	9. Time Spent Together

**Chapter 9- Time Spent Together**

"So . . . Keiko, what do you want to do?" Yusuke's face was now refreshed and relieved to be out in the fresh air. His hand was squeezing mine so tightly.

"There are so many possibilities for us . . ." I answered. I leaned on his shoulder. I felt so light . . . so happy . . . so liberated. We walked toward the market, having really no clue as to where we really wanted to go. We slowed down as we approached our sudden destination. As we approached one of the stands, I started laughing.

"What's so funny, Keiko?" asked Yusuke.

"Yusuke, we've got two hours together and we don't know where we're going, what we're going to do . . ." Yusuke laughed at my remark. We stopped and he turned me toward him. He placed his hand on my face. His hand was so warm on my skin.

"We'll find something to do . . . I promise . . ." he said with such a warming smile. I grinned. He was so close to me . . . and we were in public where everyone could see us. I was so happy. I grabbed his face and kissed him. When I pulled away, he seemed shocked by my sudden act of affection. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the stands.

"Let's look around," I suggested. We stopped at the fruit stand first. I pointed out some bananas sitting on the stand. "Those look good!"

"What . . .? They're just bananas," Yusuke replied, unimpressed. He continued looking at the selection of fruits that laid before us. "Hey sir?" Yusuke tapped the clerk on the shoulder. "Can you give me two bananas?" Yusuke reached into his pocket and brought out a 1000 yen piece. The clerk handed him two bananas and took his money. Yusuke ripped the bananas apart and gave one to me.

"You didn't have to buy anything," I said, taking my banana from him.

"Now when I think about it, I haven't had a banana in a while," Yusuke announced, biting into his yellow snack. He took up my hand and started looking for another stand. We found a trash can and threw our banana peels in as we searched for a place that interested us. We found a stand that had little trinkets of baby animals. We stopped to look.

"Foxes, rabbits, bears, chipmunks . . . they're so cute." Yusuke got really close to get a better look. Yusuke wasn't interested, but he stood there as I admired the trinkets. I directed my attention back to Yusuke. "Okay, let's move on . . .!" We continued to walk down the street looking for anything that caught our eyes. I looked down at my watch; it read 7:05. Yes! There's still so much time left. We stopped at a place that sold bread. Yusuke picked up a loaf as we stopped there. "What's that for?" I asked as we walked

"Now that I'm living on my own, I'm going to have to eat!" he said. I laughed.

"You should pick up other things too! You'll need more besides bread."

"I have peanut butter at home. That should last me about two weeks."

"No one should have to live on bread and peanut butter!" I was laughing really hard now. "Until you get on your feet, you can eat with me and my family. It'll be fun!" Yusuke looked at me strangely. His face relaxed into a smile.

"I'll be fine . . ." he responded. "But . . . thanks for worrying about me." I looked up at him. His eyes were so sincere and loving. He leaned in as though to kiss me . . . but we were interrupted.

"Yusuke . . . Keiko-chan!" A familiar voice came from behind us.

"Kura . . . I mean Suiichi . . . and Botan. Hey!" Yusuke said.

"Hey . . . What you two love birds doing here?" asked Kurama as I looked at him and Botan standing there together.

"We're just looking around right now," Yusuke answered.

"What are you two doing out here?" I asked.

"Well . . . there isn't much going on in the spirit world today, so when I came down here, I just happened to run into Kurama in the market," replied Botan. "Could we join you guys for a while?" she asked.

"Sure," Yusuke and I answered at the same time. All four of us walked in our little group down the street. Yusuke and Kurama walked in front of us while I and Botan-san walked behind.

"Keiko-chan?" Botan-san said. "I heard recently about you and Yusuke's falling out. But then I come out here and here you two are, together on the sidewalk." She started giggling and I grinned at her enthusiasm. "You two make such an adorable couple. An extraordinary couple! It's so wonderful!" I smiled at her comment as we stopped to look at some porcelain figurines at a stand. "You two are practically inseparable."

"That's not technically true, Botan-san." I replied. "This is our first time being together in public in about a month"

"A month?" Botan-san asked widening her eyes. "Why a month?"

"We . . . well we had a fight on Christmas . . ." I said.

"A fight . . ." said Botan-san, repeating my words. " . . . Really . . .?"

"Yeah . . . but everything is fine . . . now," I told her. She beamed with delight as she listened to me talk about Yusuke and my affairs.

"It must be kind of nice having someone special in your life! It's always good to spend quality time with the ones you love," she told me with a thoughtful look on her face. We suddenly realized how far ahead the guys had gone. "Yusuke just doesn't know how lucky he is to have you in his life . . . or, well. . . maybe he does . . ." she said cheerfully. That's what I like about her, I said to myself in admiration of Botan-san. . . If only I could be that cheerful about things. We ran and stopped right behind the guys. "Kurama?" Botan-san said while standing behind our red-haired friend. Suiichi-kun turned around as Botan-san tapped his shoulder. "I think we should leave these two to themselves. They need some time for each other." Botan-san turned around and winked at me.

"I was about to say the same thing . . ." Kurama chimed in as he patted Yusuke on the shoulder.

"Are you sure you don't want to spend more time with us . . .?" Yusuke asked.

"We really don't mind . . ." I added. Kurama shook his head and said, "I ought to be getting back to O'kaasan anyway. We'll see you guys around . . ." Botan-san gave me a hug and whispered to me, "Watch out . . . It looks like it's going to rain . . ." I looked at her, oddly. What is she talking about? I looked up briefly, wondering if the sky would give a sign to the weather, but I didn't see anything. She smiled and grabbed the arm of Kurama. We all waved good-bye to each other and went our separate ways.

After a few minutes of walking and looking around like two excited fools, we stopped in front of a stand that sold ice cream. I looked at he stand and became hungry, remembering that I had skipped out on dessert earlier. . .

"Would you like some ice cream . . .? I think I'm gonna buy some . . ." Yusuke slyly said while licking his lips.

"Sounds good . . . but what flavor?" I asked.

"Yo, vender!" Yusuke shouted. "How much for a gallon of . . . 'Cookies and Cream'?"

"That's 2500 yen," the man answered.

"I'll take it." Yusuke pulled out some money and happily paid the man. Yusuke, now holding ice cream, bread, and my hand, lead me over to a bench. "Hold on . . ." he said. " I need to adjust all of this crap!" I let go of his hand and grabbed the bread from him to cut down on all his fussing and confusion.

"That wasn't so hard now was it?" I poked fun at him. He grabbed my hand again and we continued on our way down the sidewalk. I looked at my watch; it now read 7:32. I looked down at the sidewalk as our steps began to synchronize. I felt like I was on top of the world. God, does this day really have to end!? I asked in my mind. As I watched our feet, I saw little pellets of water hit the ground. I stopped walking and looked up at the sky. The nice calm sky I had seen before had disappeared and gray clouds of enormous size had taken its place. " . . . Yusuke . . .?"

"What's wrong, Keiko?" Yusuke looked concerned.

"Is it . . . raining . . .?" Yusuke looked up at the sky. Out of nowhere, the sky . . . just started pouring rain. I could feel my clothes beginning to stick to my skin.

"Oh crap . . .! We have to get inside . . . Fast!" Still carrying the bread and ice cream, we ran, passing all of the people. A lot of people started running around, trying to get out of the rain too. The rain was so thick that it was hard to see. . . but I didn't care. Yusuke hand reached back and clutched to mine, leading me and guiding me through each and every drop that rained down on us. "My apartment is just up ahead," I heard him say, but I was too absorbed in the falling water. The rain was so refreshing on my face. Yusuke looked back at, probably sensing my happiness. We started laughing, trying to find our way through it all. Somehow, I managed to keep up with him though he dragged me the whole way.

We kept on running until we reached the door to his place, running up stairs and such to finally make it there. We walked in and he immediately closed the door behind us. We were both soaking wet and cold. He grabbed the bread from me and put it up in a nearby cupboard that was in the kitchen. Next, he walked over to his freezer and placed the ice cream securely inside. I still stood in the doorway.

"What are we going to do now?" I asked him, giggling. He looked at me, thinking about my question. His clothes was stuck to him, his sweater dripping in a circle around his feet as he stood there. His eyes were locked onto mine as he slowly walked over to me and took me up in his arms My wet waist was pressed against his. I could feel his heart beating just as fast as mine was. His cold, wet chest pressed up against mine. . . rising and falling against me. . . made me quiver.

"We need to get out of these clothes . . ." Yusuke told me. He slyly leaned in and kissed me. His breath was cold in my mouth. . . and his tongue was cold as well. I sucked on his mouth, desperately trying to grasp any signs of heat I could find there. He was just as cold as I was, perhaps colder. His kiss was so passionate . . . yet freezing. Our mouths were fused in a wonderful . . . yet . . . icy bond. I put my hands on his cold face . . . and our lips parted. We were both breathing heavily, our breath visibly mixing between us. His sweater was dripping endlessly on the floor and my clothes were clinging to every part of me.

Yusuke took my hand and lead me down the hallway. He went into the bathroom and grabbed two towels. I placed the towel on my head as he place the other around my shoulders. He lead me to his bedroom. As we walked into his room, he immediately closed the door. I looked at him. For some strange reason, so many thoughts filled my head at once. . . but the reason wasn't so strange. . . I knew why my mind was suddenly racing. . .

We're alone . . . in . . . his room. We can-- I shook all over, ridding myself of my fantastic thoughts.

"Yusuke, you need to get out of that sweater." I said, trying to get my mind off the subject. I walked over to him and pulled the heavy shirt up and over his head. Water was spilling all around us as the sweater hit the floor. His bare chest showed when the sweater was gone, only making matters worse instead of better. I ran the back of my hand over his chest. His skin . . . was so cold. He was dripping wet. I pulled the towel from off my head and I began drying his chest, first patting him and then allowing the towel to caress his strong body. I moved the towel over his chest carefully and slowly. He was staring down at me as I did this. I would move down and then up again, moving consciously over each nipple as if they were covered with water. He clutched onto my other hand and kissed it. It seemed that he, too, was feeling the pressure of our privacy and was perhaps trying to hide his excitement . . . like I was.

I loved being so close to him . . .being able to touch him like this, even if it was with a mere towel. But my shivering got the best of me in the situation. I so desperately wanted to get warm. I leaned onto Yusuke and I laid my head against his freezing chest as if that would help. The skin that was there only greeted the side of my face with more icy chills down my spine. His muscular arms enclosed me and I felt a little bit warmer. Even so, we knew that this wasn't going to be enough. . . so he let me go and started rummaging around in his nearby closet.

"I gotta find something for you to wear," he said while throwing clothes all over the place.

"I don't think you have . . . anything small enough . . ." I replied.

"I'll find something," he told me. He kept searching until he found a large shirt. "Here . . ." he handed it to me. "I'll leave you in here while you change . . ." He walked toward the door as if to leave me.

"Yusuke . . . Wait . . .!" Yusuke stopped and turned around. "You don't have to leave." He looked at me with question all over his face. "Just turn around. I'll be done in a flash." Yusuke looked at me with nervousness in his eyes. I smiled at him. "Go ahead . . . turn around." He didn't look too sure about my decision, but he obeyed. When his naked back faced me, I turned toward his bed and began taking off my jacket and the towel around my shoulders. I dropped it on the ground. I turned around and looked to see if he was peeking. I stepped out of my pants . . . then I took of my shirt. I looked around my shoulder to peek at him.

"Are you done yet?" he asked. I hugged myself, thinking he was trying to take a peek at me in just my underwear. . . which, knowing Yusuke, was hard to put past him.

"No . . ." I answered. "Just a moment . . ." I pulled off my panties last and then slipped on the dry shirt Yusuke gave me.

"How about now?" he asked. I was done by then, but I decided not to say anything. Quietly, I came up behind him and gently kissed his frigid back. I could feel by the way he was breathing that my kiss came to him as a surprise. Then, I ran my tongue up his back ever so slowly, making sure he felt the the trail my tongue had left. I felt him tense up and gradually relax. His muscles quivered under the feel of my tongue only making me want to continue on. But his body . . . his skin. . . was still so cold.

"I'm done now . . ." I replied as I slopped my wet clothes and towels over his shoulder. He turned around; the clothes fell off his shoulder. I smiled at him as I ran my hand down his chest.

"You're still cold . . ." he said, putting one hand on my waist.

"You need to get out of your clothes too," I told him. I moved my hands around his waist and felt that the rim of his pants were soaked. "Now . . . you can change your clothes . . ." I let go of him and walked toward the door. "I'll stand here," I said and I turned my back to him. I stared at the door. God . . . why am I so cold? Why is it so cold in here? Yusuke was right behind me . . . changing his clothes. I closed my eyes, imagining what Yusuke would look like naked. I've seen him before, I told myself. I saw _most _of him on Christmas . . . and . . . then I saw basically _all _of him on my birthday . . . I started giggling to myself.

"You're not looking, are you?"

"No . . ." I continued to giggle. I wonder what he's doing right now . . .? I straightened back up. It's still so cold in here though, I said to myself, starting over in my cycle of thoughts. It didn't take long before I felt the familiar arms wrap around my shoulders. They were so comforting but they were just as cold as I was.

"We have to find a way to warm you up . . ." he whispered into my ear. He turned me around and pulled me close. He was now wearing a t-shirt along with some cotton, white shorts. I looked up at my love as he leaned in to kiss me. I closed my eyes, waiting for his lips to meet mine. His lips lightly pressed in. . . just like I had expected. We were both so cold. I opened my mouth and started sucking on his, trying to take away the warmth in him that I couldn't find earlier. My efforts were pointless. My arms encircled him as his strong arms continued to pull me closer. I'm freezing . . . but I want to stay here forever, I thought. Our lips departed from our kiss.

"Is there something . . . I can put on my legs . . .?" I looked at him mischievously. I could just guess what he was thinking. "I don't have . . . anything . . .on . . . under this . . ."

"Say no more . . . I'll try to find something," he volunteered nervously. Our chilled embrace ended as he broke away from me. I relunctantly let him go. He went back to his closet and started looking. I laughed at him quietly. He went to a dresser and continued looking for something. He pulled some bikers shorts out and handed them to me. "These are the smallest ones I can find. I can always find you some sweat pants." I took the shorts from him looked at them.

"Thanks," I told him. I bent down to put them on. As I did this, I looked up at Yusuke. He was blushing. "Maybe you should turn around . . ." I smiled at him.

"Yes ma'am," he said. I smiled at him as he willingly rotated away from me. I slipped the shorts up and over my hips.

"You can turn around now." He did so and started picking up our wet clothes from the floor.

"I'm going to throw these into the dryer." He went to the door and opened it. He allowed me to walk in front of him as we went toward the living room. "It shouldn't take me too long . . . I'll be right back." He went to the front door and left me. I stood there as my shorts began to fall down my hips. I looked at my watch. It now read 8:27. I pulled the shorts up again and I laid down in the couch, curling up into a ball. I'm still cold. Does he have a heater? He'll find a way to keep me warm, I told myself. I'm going to be here for awhile. Since we're here . . . alone . . . What are we going to do . . . with all of this free time . . .? I giggled to myself for asking that question. Turning my thoughts away from that, I rubbed on my arms, trying to keep warm. I couldn't stop shivering. I sneezed. What's taking him so long? I asked myself, sneezing again moments later. I hope nothing is wrong out there. He should be fine, I reassured myself as I sneezed again. Oh. . . I better not be coming down with something, I said to myself, forbidding any illness from coming. I heard the front door close. He's back, I told myself. I closed my eyes, relieved that he was back in the apartment with me. When I opened them up again, Yusuke was in my face, staring at me.

"Why is it so cold?" I looked at him. His hand caressed my cheek.

"I don't know . . ." He stood up and walked out of the room. Where is he going? He returned with a blanket. "Here." He covered me and sat back down on the floor. "I don't know how I'm gonna get you home on time. It's still raining pretty hard . . ." He looked so beautiful when he was concerned. "I promised them that I'd get you home . . . on time."

"Don't worry . . . If I call them . . . they'll understand." I smiled. Yusuke leaned in and kissed me. I wanted to pull him under the blanket with me, but I shook off the urge. I was too cold. I pulled away from him and closed my eyes. "Do you have a heater?" I asked.

"Since I just moved in . . . I don't have any heat yet. Not for another week anyway . . . Dammit!" He looked at me with an uneasy expression. I brought my hand from the blanket and placed it on his face.

"It's okay, Yusuke. We'll make due with what we have." I smiled at him, trying to ease his worries. He moved in again and kissed me. His tongue came into my mouth so slowly despite the angle that our mouths mingled in. I moved my hand along his face as he moved his tongue around gently in my mouth. Even though his tongue was cold, it was still comfort to me. I wanted to hold him in my arms . . .but I was laying down . . . so that wouldn't of worked out. He pulled away and looked at me, his eyes so caring. I brought my hand off of his cheek. "Now . . . let's call my parents and tell them that we'll be late because of the rain . . ." I stood up, still covered in my blanket, and we walked back to his room. I walked to his dresser and picked up the phone while Yusuke waited. I dialed the number quickly. As I waited for one of my parents to answer the phone, I looked at Yusuke, who was standing in the doorway.

"Hello?" I heard a deep voice on the other side.

"Daddy? Hey . . ." I said.

"Keiko, dear. Is there a problem . . .?"

"No, Daddy. I needed to tell you that . . . we got caught in the rain." I stopped talking to think of a good place that we could be.

"Are you guys alright? Where are you guys?" my father asked.

"We're fine." I reassured him. "We're at . . . at . . . at Yusuke's . . . house," I couldn't bring myself to lie to him. "We had to get out of the rain . . . and this was the closest place." There was silence on the other end of the line. "Daddy . . .?" Still more silence. My mind began racing as I tried to think of what else I could add to make the story sound better. "Daddy . . . we're going to get there as soon as we can. We can't leave until the rain lifts up. It's so hard to see out there, you know?" There was still quiet on the other end. "Just pray that it lifts up soon!" I tried to sound enthusiastic.

"Thanks for telling me, dear. Could I talk to . . .Yusuke . . .?" I looked at Yusuke and motioned for him to come near me. He walked up to me and I handed him the phone.

"Hello . . .? Yukimura-sama . . . We . . . Oh? Oh . . ." Yusuke was having trouble getting any words in. He looked at me and gave me a reassuring smile. I looked at him as he listened to whatever my father was saying. It seemed to take forever for them to finish talking. "I'll remember that, sir. I'll take care of her. I promise . . ." I smiled at him as he said this. "Keiko . . . He wants to say something to you." I grabbed the phone from him.

"Daddy . . . ?"

"Keiko," he said. "Be careful . . . over there. Just try to get home as soon as you can."

"Really, Daddy," I smiled. "Don't worry about me."

"Well . . . could I get the number so we can check on you?" I turned to Yusuke.

"What's your number . . .?" I asked Yusuke. Yusuke mouthed out the number for me. "Daddy . . . are you still there?"

"Yes, Keiko." I recited the number that I read from Yusuke's lips.

"Did you get that, Daddy?"

"Yes . . . Well, I'll talk . . . to you later, Keiko, dear . . ."

"Okay, Daddy . . . Bye-bye . . ."

"Bye, Keiko." I heard a click and the phone gave a dial tone. I placed the phone back on the receiver. I looked at Yusuke once more.

"What did he say to you . . .?" I asked.

"Nothing new, really . . ." he told me. He came a bit closer and allowed his hand brush my face. "You're still so cold."

"I'll manage . . ." I told him. I dropped my blanket and went to him. I pressed against him as I wrapped my arms around him again, relieved to have gotten the phone call out of the way. "I love you . . ." I said, the words just flowing out of my mouth.

"I love you too, Keiko . . . so much." His arms squeezed me.

" . . . I'm so cold . . ." I looked up at him, my chin on his chest.

"What . . . can I do for you . . .?" he asked me. I thought about his question. I studied his face. He looked so concerned, so handsome.

"I need to get warm. This is the warmest place in your house . . ." Yusuke looked at me. "Let's stay in here." He looked a little worried about my decision. He walked me over to his bed and sat me down.

"Lay down, Keiko." I did as he said and he covered me with the blanket I had dropped before. He sat down next to me in the bed and he ran his hand down my face. "Is that better?" I nodded. His hand was still cold.

" . . .Yusuke . . . You're cold too." He looked at me and smiled.

"I'll be fine . . ." He's trying to act tough . . . I laughed to myself. It was quiet for a while. I shifted to look at my watch. It read 8:56. Wow! Did that call take that long? I looked at Yusuke who was now looking at the window.

"It's still raining, huh?" I asked him.

"Yeah . . . we're going to be here for a while." he said.

" . . .Yusuke . . . you make it sound like that's a bad thing." I reached out of the blanket and touched his beautiful back. I sat up shortly after. I wanted to hold him. He looked so beautiful to me at that moment. "Yusuke . . . is something the matter?"

"No . . . it's just cold . . . and . . . now your parents are worried about you."

"Oh, Yusuke." I said. I wrapped my arms around him from behind him; I was still half-covered in the blanket. "All that matters is that we're both okay and my parents know where we are . . ." Yusuke turned around and looked at me. I still had him in my arms as he tried to smile.

" . . . Your father doesn't trust me . . ." he laughed. "He told me to keep my hands off of you. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, though . . ."

"Is that all . . .?" Don't touch me . . . huh? I took my arms off around him. I picked up his hand and kissed the tip of each finger, his strong hand tensing as each kiss landed. I put his hand down and moved his hand underneath the blanket, slowly and carefully. I could sense his uneasiness and his excitement, packed into the energy that surrounded him. I guided his hand toward me, the blanket moving as I brought his hand closer and closer. Then I put it down. . . making sure that it was touching my waist. Yusuke looked at me, still confused by my actions. "Daddy can't stop what's already been done." I smiled. Yusuke, now seeming a little bit more relaxed, touched my face and leaned in.. His kiss came so gently. . .again. Unable to stop him, I received his lips. His tongue gently nudged its way into my mouth. I tasted his mouth as he did mine. Just as the kiss began to deepen, he laid me down. So sweet . . . so passionate this kiss was. . .that I was powerless to stop him. We were both laying on our sides now, facing each other. His hand traveled up my covered side, the blanket wrinkling under his moving hand. I began to tingle all over.

I wish he were laying on top of me . . . I said to myself. This is our chance to . . . Ahh! What am I thinking?! I asked myself while laughing all the while at the same time. I tried to dispose of the thoughts running around in my head. Our lips separated and we stared at each other.

"What are we going to do until the rain lifts?" he asked. He looked at me, waiting for a suggestion.

"For starters, you could get under this blanket with me . . ." I opened the blanket so he could join me. He stared at the place I had opened for him. I could feel his hesitation, my father's words probably still haunting him. "Come on . . ." In complete and utter obedience, he got inside with me and closed the blanket behind him.

"You're freezing . . ." he told me. He cautiously moved in closer.

"If we stay close, our body heat should be enough to warm us," I informed him, perhaps a sad attempt to make sure that he wasn't nervous. But it didn't really work. Instead, I got closer to him and hugged him. He, of course, squeezed me back. Then he kissed me again. We were both still cold but I could feel more heat within him now. I pulled away and ran my finger along the outline of his face.

"I'm sorry about this, Keiko . . . If the heater were running, we would both be warm."

"I forgive you." I touched his cheek and kissed him briefly. I turned away from him and stared at the wall. I just wanted to lay there with him.

"Keiko . . ." I turned my head slightly to show that I was still listening. "Is there anything else . . . I can do for you?"

"Just . . . hold me . . ." I told him. That's all that I really wanted. . . his body near mine. I felt him come up behind me; his strong and loving arms came around me slowly. I melted in his warming embrae and allowed my eyes to close. I could feel him breathing in my ear. His cool breath constantly reminding me that I wasn't alone. How can I love someone so much? I asked myself, his cool embrace surrounding me under the blanket. I was wrapped up in his cool embrace. We were both quiet for a long time. He was so still behind me. . . and so close. Can't this moment just last. . . forever? How long will I be able to stay here with him? I listened to the rain as it tapped at the window. I'm still here only because its raining. I could feel my eyes watering as I thought. It can't rain forever . . .


	10. Sharing the Heat

**Chapter 10- Sharing the Heat**

My eyes slowly opened as I came out of my thoughts. . . at least that's what I thought at first. The wall that I was still facing was blurry. I guess I dozed off . . . I told myself, rubbing my eyes. I could hear the sound of water on the window as it continued to pour outside. It's still raining . . . I said to myself. I looked at my watch; it read 9:58. It's so late. I whispered Yusuke's name . . . and received no answer. I guess he's sleep, I told myself. Looks like I'm going to be here for a while, I thought. I held myself, remembering how cold I still was. I could see my breath as I exhaled. I laid there, listening to the rain. The sound of the rain was so calming. Then I heard a shuffle from behind me . . .

" . . . Keiko . . ." I heard Yusuke whisper behind me.

"What is it, my love . . .?" I felt his cold hand travel up my side. ". . .Yusuke . . . what . . . are you doing . . .?" I started smiling. I felt his cold breath draw close to my skin. I felt my hair getting pushed out of the way as he began kissing my neck. At first, the kisses were gentle. . . slow. His breath was so cold against me. Then, his mouth began sucking on me, his mouth moving hungrily along the nape of my neck. I moved, enjoying the feeling of his tongue on my skin. He shifted my shirt so that more of my shoulder was exposed to him. I felt his tongue navigating to the skin of my shoulder, unyielding and searching. He continued sucking intensely on me, his mouth cool to the touch, but somehow creating heat as he continued. I moaned quietly. I reached behind me and my hand landed on one of his shoulders. "What . . . are you . . . doing . . .?"

His hand came off my side. " . . .Yusuke . . .?" I felt something cold reach into my shorts. His freezing hands. I could hear the sheets moving as he moved one hand around me from underneath. I shivered at the mere touch of them. They grabbed my hips . . . and then they caressed my thighs, making me want to call out, but I didn't. He touched me . . . squeezed me . . . so carefully. " . . . What . . . are you doing?" I moaned. I gasped as his hands started going up under my shirt. I laughed at the feeling of his hands on my waist. They wrapped around me, taking each moment to feel a part of me and bumping my breasts from time to time. His cold hands were now traveling up my torso, leading to the parts of me that were concealed by my large shirt. His hands were freezing on my skin, but I could care less. His hands reached back down again and they began playing with the rim my shorts as if he were begging me without saying a single word. "Your hands . . . they're so cold . . ." I told him. I hastily turned over and looked into his eyes. "My love . . . your hands are still so cold."

"I know . . . You're cold too, Keiko . . ." he replied, still moving his hands around under my shirt, feeling all that he could feel along my back and me letting him. I gasped as his cold hands came around grabbed my breasts tightly. I could feel him wrapping his fingers around my frigid, standing nipples. . .and I couldn't help but smile at him.

"What are you doing to me . . .?" I giggled at the feeling of his hands. "You're always up to something . . ." I sat up, his hands coming out of my shirt. I sat there while looking down at him and all I could see was the desire in his eyes. Without a single hesitation, I pulled my shirt up and over my head. Yusuke stared at me and smirked. I stared down at him as I sat there, freezing and. . . shirtless. Yusuke sat up and grabbed me. He kissed me. . . hard. He still had that confident smirk on his face when he pulled away suddenly, leaving me wanting more. He took my arm and laid me back down. I rolled on top of him and pulled his shirt off of him as well; my breasts were now pressing against his cold chest, the same chest I had personally dried before. His hands began playing with the rim of my shorts again. I pulled down the last of his garments, lower and lower. I looked down at him as I did this. He was still smiling.

"What happened to 'Daddy's Little Girl'?" he questioned as his hands were moving up and down my back. He was grinning teasingly.

"All that matters . . ." I whispered to him before I kissed him briefly. " . . . is . . ." I kissed him again, longer this time, licking his lips with each lingering second. " . . . that I'm here with you . . . and you're here with me." I smiled at him. ". . . What Daddy doesn't know . . . can't hurt him . . ." I said while I threw his shorts across the room. I sat up and looked down at him. I bent over and started kissing his lean torso. I moved my hands up and down his arms.

" . . . Keiko . . ." he whispered again. I looked at him, biting my lip. "You're so . . ." I interrupted him. I was licking his nipple now, making my way up to his mouth. He helped me as I quickly pulled off my shorts. I laid back on top of him. His freezing hands traveled up my back, making my skin stand on end. We both smiled at each other mischievously. I decided to toy around with him a little . . . I grabbed his face and traced the outline of his mouth with my tongue. I grinned as I brushed my lips across his a couple of times. His hands squeezed me and he laughed quietly as I did this. Then I kissed him, letting my tongue enjoy the taste of his mouth. His breath was getting warmer now. I tried to suck all of the warmth from him. He grabbed and hugged me so tightly. I could feel his heart pounding against my frigid breasts. I giggled as I felt him becoming more and more aroused from underneath me. I parted our kiss and sat up again. His hand came up and ran down my stomach. I bent down and started sucking on his neck. I ran my hands along his chest. He placed his hands on my thighs as he smiled and started moaning in pleasure.

"Yusuke . . . I love you so much . . ." I groaned into his ear. His hands overpowered me and took control of the situation. He rolled me onto my back and kissed me ever so passionately. My hand couldn't resist from running its fingers slowly through his hair. His tongue rolled around in my mouth, making me want him even more than ever before.

I was gone . . . lost in his kiss.

His tongue felt so good dancing in my mouth. I clutched onto his back, not ever wanting to let him go. Our tongues were inseparable. I could feel his body getting hotter and hotter. Everything inside of me . . . _wanted him_ . . . every part of him. He slowly withdrew from our kiss and looked down at me.

"_Love . . . _is too trivial a word . . . to explain . . . how I feel . . . for you . . . Keiko," said Yusuke, breathing heavily. His hand was traveling down to my hip, moving toward my inner thigh.

"I'm still so cold . . ." I told him, still running my fingers through his hair.

"As am I . . ." he replied, his hands now leisurely rubbing on both of my thighs now. His hands moved so slowly on my skin. I looked up at the ceiling and then closed my eyes. My heart was racing . . . my mind was racing as well. I pressed my waist up against his, showing him. . . telling him. . .that I couldn't wait too much longer. I opened my eyes and stared at him. Just moments later, his mouth gradually curved up into a smile. He understood.

"What do we do now . . .?" I asked him slyly, knowing the answer to my pointless question. My hand ran down to the small of his back. I stared in his eyes as his cold hands continued touching my thighs. His hands were so cold, but they were comfort to my skin. I could feel him closing in on me. " . . . My love . . ." I sighed. I smiled, knowing exactly what he wanted. I wanted the same thing. I felt my body rise with heat as he slowly parted my thighs. He moved over me so that he was positioned between my legs. I watched him come down toward me . . . A smile spread across my face when. . . I felt a sudden pang. Stopping him at this point . . . was futile.

I grabbed his shoulders as he s--l--o-w-l--y moved into me. He entered ever so carefully . . . and gently. I reared back my head as he settled inside of me. I moaned . . . now feeling the warmth that I needed from his body. "Oh . . .Yusuke . . ." I moaned softly. My body rejoiced as it felt him . . . all of him. I was so happy to feel him inside of me. I moved beneath him, feeling the heat returning slowly to every cell in me. I could feel his body gradually heating up as well. I clutched onto him as he began kissing my neck. His tongue moved on my skin, teasing me. I giggled as I let my thighs close around him, squeezing his hips.

He began pushing inward and then slowly moving back outward at a strange . . . yet pleasing rhythm. I clutched onto his wide shoulders as he pushed on, going deeper inside of me. I threw back my head again as he moved back out and pushed in again. His chest hovered over me . . . rubbing against me every time he pushed on. I groaned, feeling every part of myself getting carried away with him. I called out his name in delight. He pushed in again and stopped for a moment. His weight settled on top of me, pressing down on me. I looked at him as he drew close to me. We kissed. He moved his tongue in my mouth so slowly. My body burned as the kiss would lighten and deepened with each passing second that we lingered. He pressed into my mouth stealing away my breath. I clutched onto his back, feeling him. . . scratching him. He pulled away from my lips and came to my ear.

"My darling Keiko . . ." he breathed into my ear. He nudged me with himself, pushing me upward for a moment, causing me to call out. When I calmed down, he said to me, "What I'd give . . . to be with you . . . like this . . . for . . . everyday . . . of my life . . ." He began running his tongue along my ear.

" . . . Y-u-s-u-k-e . . ." I moaned softly, helpless to the sensations that I felt. He felt so good pressing down on me. Every part of him was inside of me. He returned to my face and lightly kissed me. His lips came away from mine, leaving me wanting more . . . He started moving again. I felt him pull out and then slowly push back in again. I gasped at all of the sensations I felt all at the same time. I closed my eyes and smiled. My body celebrated in its pleasure. " . . . Don't stop . . ." I murmured. I clutched onto his back; I was powerless. I held onto him as he groaned quietly. He could do anything he wanted . . . I didn't care. Everything he did . . felt . . . so . . . wonderful. I no longer felt cold . . . My whole body was dripping with sweat . . . and . . . I didn't care.

Suddenly . . . his movements quickened. He began moving faster . . . and . . . faster. His thighs came up to mine, pushing my thighs higher so he could go even deeper. . . even faster. I opened my eyes, feeling the change. Oh my God . . . I thought to myself. I threw back my head, relishing the feeling of his hips pressing into me even harder and faster. Deeper and deeper he pushed into me. More and more . . . I could feel our bodies heating up gradually . . . together. I tried to keep up with him. I tightened my thighs around him, adjusting to his sudden increase of speed. I dug my fingers into his back, trying to hold in my outbursts of pleasure. He came down on me and dove into my mouth, making sudden movements that would cause me to moan in his mouth. His tongue was so hot now. His whole entire body pressed into me. His weight felt so good . . . so warm . . . so wonderful . . . on top of me, pushing in and out of me. I pulled away from his kiss and threw back my head once again. He continued to push up and out, unable to stop. . .not wanting to. " . . . Yusuke . . .!" I moaned wildly, running out of breath. I didn't care though. My head tossed from side to side, trying to hold in all that I was feeling. Everything in me enjoyed what sensations I felt . . . what he was doing to me . . .

Yusuke moved down to my neck, still pushing up into me and out quickly. He kissed and caressed my neck ever . . . so . . . slowly. I bit my lip, making my final effort to hold in my exhilaration. He looked up at me as he moved down to my chest. I smiled, feeling his warm breath on my skin. His tongue moved from the middle of my chest . . . to my breasts. ". . . I love you . . ." I moaned as I felt his mouth close around one of my nipples, sucking on it while groaning at his own pleasure.

He slowed down as he indulged on the taste of one of my breasts. I screamed with delight. "Oh . . . Yusuke . . .!" I moaned again and again. I wrapped my arms around him. His tongue played with my nipple, slowly wrapping around it. I moaned again . . . louder. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I grasped onto his head and ran my fingers through his hair. Yusuke stopped and looked up at me. He smirked and I smiled back as he slowly moved onto my other breast. ". . .Yusuke . . . don't stop," I moaned, as he sucked on the other breast, giving it as much attention as he had the first. ". . . don't ever stop . . .!"

He came off of my breast and went back to the middle of my chest. With his head still in my grasp, I felt his tongue leisurely move up . . . back to my neck. He stopped his fast-paced rhythm and laid on top of me, breathing hard, catching his breath. He smiled as he let his tongue trace around my lips slowly. He laughed quietly as he did this, mocking what I had did to him earlier. I closed my eyes, still feeling him deep inside of me. I felt his now sweaty chest laying against me." . . .Yusuke . . ." I moaned. He stopped when I opened my eyes. But then he plunged into my mouth again as I clinched onto his back. His tongue went so deep into my mouth that my whole body tightened. Our hot breaths mixed together in my mouth. He pressed into it harder and harder. My legs curled around his hips. I could still feel him pressing hard into me.

I rolled him onto his back. We were still kissing as he wrapped his powerful arms around me. I pressed into his mouth now. I let my tongue move so leisurely, making him want me even more. He was underneath me, holding me so tightly. His body burned with such heat . . . His kiss was full of such passion. I slowly broke away from his kiss and looked at him. I placed my hands on his chest and stroked his skin slowly. " . . . You're . . . so good . . . to me . . ." I said, breathing heavily.

"It's . . . what I . . . do best . . ." he replied, just as breathless as I was. I pushed off of his chest and gently sat up with him still inside of me. I rubbed on his chest, moving ever so slowly. He groaned quietly, stroking my thighs. He pushed his hips up suddenly . . . going deeper into me for just a moment. I gasped and smiled at his unexpected movement. I looked down at Yusuke, now breathing with more ease. His beautiful eyes were full of such anticipation . . . such passion. I pushed down on him with my body . . . very slowly. Yusuke gasped . . . in pleasure. I could see his mouth curling up into a smile. I gradually lifted myself up and pushed down on him again. He gave me another sign of enjoyment . . . by moaning. He continued to smile as I repeated the motion.

" . . . Keiko . . ." he moaned. Hearing my name used that way . . . was music to my ears. I bent forward as I lifted off and pushed back down on him again. He pushed his hips up, groaning loudly as my body sank inot a rhythm that neither of us could deny. " . . . It . . . feels . . . so good . . ." he groaned as I pushed down on him again and again. I smiled at his compliment. I was enjoying myself. I bent down and touched his beautiful, sweating face. He smiled back as he placed his hands on my hips.

I stared into his eyes . . . watching them as they burned with so much passion. My whole body was rejoicing in feeling _all _of him . . . his heat inside of me was such a wonderful feeling. I became more comfortable with what I was doing . . . so I decided to change things a bit. I started moving faster. I watched Yusuke's face change as he realized what I was trying to do. He began biting his lower lip. Slowly yet surely, I quickened my pace. Yusuke's body moved underneath me; he was grabbing onto the sheets and throwing back his head in pleasure. " . . . Keiko . . .!" he said again and again. I liked the way he called my name. I sighed from the sensations that I was feeling inside of me. I put my hands on his shoulders and pressed down on him. He groaned loudly as he placed his hands back on my thighs. He squeezed me every time I pushed down on him. I lifted off of him and I leaned in and pressed down on his hips again. He gasped and I felt him sink into the bed. Every moan . . . every gasp . . . every possible sound of pleasure I could ever hear came from his lips. His love . . . his heat . . . his pleasure . . . was all that mattered. I continued my motion as we both cried out in our pleasure.

"Oh . . .Yusuke . . .!" I called out one last time before I stopped. I looked down at his sweating face. He was smiling, trying to catch his breath. I leaned down to him and let my mouth suck on his again. He gradually wrapped his powerful arms around me. His sweating chest was pressed tightly against mine. His chest rose and fell as he breathed into my mouth. I lifted my head, pulling away from our kiss. I could feel his breath on my face as I did on his. He was worn out . . . as was I . . . but . . . I wanted so badly to continue.

" . . . I love you . . . and . . . adore you . . . Keiko . . . so much . . ." He reached up and caressed my face. I stared into his beautiful eyes as he gazed into mine. I closed my eyes, feeling his hand still on my face. His words meant so much to me. I opened my eyes and stared at my lover once more. We laid there silently, listening to the never-ending rain outside. How I loved being so close to him . . . to be pressed up against him. I could feel everything as he remained inside of me . . . his love . . . his heat. His face was so beautiful to me. He placed his hand on the back of my head and little by little . . . he pulled me to his mouth. He kissed me, letting his tongue do the talking. His tongue moved slowly in my mouth now . . . telling me how much he loved me . . . how much he needed me . . . how much he _wanted _me . . . They were all there . . . in his kiss.

I felt him as he slowly pushed me onto my back as we continued to lock lips. I let him do what he wanted. He now laid on top of me again. Once again . . . his wonderful weight pressed down on me. He continued to steal away my breath as I did the same to him. I moved my hand up and down his strong back . . . then his broad shoulders. He pulled away from the kiss and he began caressing my sides. My body tightened as his hand traveled up my sweating skin. He touched my stomach . . . then my breast . . . I could still feel him deep within me. He moved his hand along the contours of my body so slowly. My body relaxed as I felt a nudge pushing me upward. I moaned softly. Yusuke leaned in and kissed my neck, letting his hot tongue move along my skin. I closed my eyes and threw my head back, feeling his mouth sucking on my skin again. His tongue was indulging the taste of it. In feeling him, I clutched onto his back again.

He pulled away from my neck and started pushing up into me again. I moaned more loudly now, feeling his strength within me once more. He started slowly and . . . then . . . he sped up . . . I felt all of my pleasures rush up to my head. I couldn't stop smiling. . . or screaming. I was losing myself in his movements . . . and I didn't care. I rubbed on him, digging all of my fingers in the small of his back in a desperate effort to stay with him. Yusuke gasped as I did this. I could feel us mixing together. I wanted the moment to last . . . and last . . . and last . . .

". . . Oh Yusuke . . . Please . . ." I whispered, begging him. His body was heavy atop mine and each nudge made my insides boil more and more. I moaned to him as his thighs came up to mine again to make it possible for him to go even deeper. And before I could finish what I was saying, he groaned to me, telling me that he would do anything at all. "Please. . ." I moaned to him, my thighs tight around his moving hips ". . . Don't stop . . ."


	11. Open Your Eyes!

**Chapter 11- Open Your Eyes!**

" . . . Keiko . . ." I heard a familiar voice. Someone nudged me on my shoulder gently.

I . . . opened . . . my eyes. And to my surprise. . . they were heavy . . . with sleep.

Did we . . .? I asked myself, my thoughts interrupted by Yusuke's coming question. "Keiko . . . are you okay . . .?" I stared at the wall, feeling sweat falling down my face. Yusuke's hand came around and touched my cheek.

"Oh my God . . ." I gasped. "I thought . . . I . . . thought . . . it was . . . real . . ."

"Keiko . . . you were calling out in your sleep . . ." Yusuke quietly whispered. I felt tears coming to my eyes. I touched the hand that laid upon my face. I sighed, my body . . . my mind . . . and my heart filling up with the deepest disappointment that could possibly be felt.

"I'm . . . okay . . ." I answered. I could feel my clothes sticking to me from the sweat that covered nearly every inch of me. Oh my God . . . My body was on fire. I took my hand from his and clutched onto my fully clothed body. What happened!? I turned around and looked at Yusuke, now sitting up in the bed. He stared at me with worry in his beautiful eyes.

"Keiko, you look like . . . you've been crying," he said, as he put his hand on my cheek again and started caressing it. I looked at him and forced myself to smile at his kind gesture. I was glad that he cared . . . but I was so angry! My body was raging, aching even.

"I'm okay. It's just . . . so hot in here . . . don't you think?" I tried to reassure him. We were quiet for a moment. I listened as the rain still fell outside. " . . . It's still raining, huh?" Yusuke nodded and uncovered himself. He walked toward the window and peered out.

"I can't see a thing out there . . ." he replied. I wanted to say something to reply to his words, but the words just wouldn't come out. I turned again and faced the wall, shaking with disbelief and utter frustration. How can this be . . .? It was so real. I couldn't understand it. How did--? Why did--? Each question stopped short in my mind, eating away at my heated insides. I wiped a tear from my cheek. I felt him . . . I told myself. His body was on top of me . . . and . . . I was on top of him. What kind of cruel joke is this!? I felt a rustle in the sheets as Yusuke shifted. I could tell that he had went to go sit at the end of the bed. I looked over my shoulder to see. He had done just what I had thought, despite all the confusion going through my head. He was looking toward the window.

"I guess I'm stuck here . . ." I said trying to pretend that I was okay. He turned around and smiled.

"At least we're not cold anymore . . ."

"Yeah . . ." I agreed. I kept thinking about my damned fantasy. I'm only warm because of that dream, I thought. That dream was even more . . . vivid and . . . better than the last. I shivered at that thought. Images of Yusuke moving on top of me replayed themselves over and over in my mind. His moaning was echoing through my ears. My body burned simply remembering . . . every single . . . movement. That was . . . too real to be a dream, I said to myself getting more and more angry. My body was trying to cool down. I grasped my chest just to feel my heart pounding. Moving my hand upward, I started fiddling with the silver pendant that rested around my neck. . . a sad attempt to distract myself. I sat up and uncovered myself. I sat on one of his pillows, pulling my legs up to my chest.

"Keiko . . . are you sure you're okay . . .?" I heard Yusuke ask me, his worries surfacing in his question. I looked up and realized that Yusuke was still looking at me.

"I'm fine, Yusuke," I smiled at him. He looked unsure about my answer. He stood up and walked toward the door. "Where are you going . . .?" He turned around and looked at me.

"I'm going to go get our clothes out of the dryer . . ." He opened the door and walked out. I watched as the door slightly closed behind him. Damn dreams . . . **DAMMIT**! I hate this . . .! I got out of the bed and stared at the window. I clutched onto myself as if the world around me were trying to fade away like the vivid dream had just minutes before. Why . . .!? I questioned myself as if I had the answers.

I could just see it. . . Yusuke under me . . . calling out my name. . . in complete ecstasy.

He was groaning . . . digging his fingers into my thighs and smiling . . .

He. . . made love to me . . .

We wanted it so badly. . . to do. . . so much more.

I stood there, searching for anything I could grab onto that could show me that what I had dreamt could have really happened. I looked over at the bed, the sheets a bit messed up, but not enough evidence to suffice my hopes. "I just don't get it. . ." I whisperd to myself, grabbing my arms in a final attempt to comfort myself. It . . . felt so . . . good. . . so damn real. Why couldn't it be real!? How could this be? " . . . Yusuke . . . Why haven't we . . . taken . . . the last step? What's stopping us . . .? Why must I be tormented in this way?" I looked down at my watch; it read 10:03. I stood there, dreading my luck. I walked around his room to release some of my frustrations. Even if it had happened . . . all of that couldn't have happened in five minutes! I went back to his window. Why do I want him so badly . . .!? First the shower . . . now this! My body was still on end as I thought of all he said to me . . . in my dream. I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around to see Yusuke standing there with my dry clothes hanging over his arm.

"Here," he said while handing me my clothes. I snatched them from him and sat back down on his bed. He sat down next to me, placing his arm around my shoulders. "I'm glad you're not cold anymore." he said. "You had me worried." I smiled.

"Thanks for . . . taking care of me . . ." I leaned to him and hugged him, squeezing him tightly. For a moment, it crossed my mind to make a move. . . to make my dream a reality. But I didn't. I decided against it, my father crossing my mind and ruining the urge. I got up and left Yusuke sitting on his bed. I walked over closer to the closet and I dropped my clothes near my feet. I turned around and looked at him. . . as I started pulling down my shorts. I watched his eyes widen with surprise.

"What are you doing?" he asked as my shorts hit the ground. I stepped out of them. "You have to warn me . . . when you do that . . ." He started turning in the other direction.

"You don't have to turn away . . . you've seen most of me . . . by now . . ." I smiled, toying with him a little. I grabbed my panties from my pile of clothes and slipped them on up under my shirt. Yusuke sat there . . . uncomfortably. I laughed at him on the inside. Though it was mean of me, torturing him helped me feel a little better. For a kid who doesn't give a damn about much, he sure is modest, I said to myself, feeling mischievous. I, next, slipped my small t-shirt into the collar of the large shirt I already had on. I pulled my arms out of the large t-shirt and continued to put the small shirt on underneath. I threw off Yusuke's shirt, revealing myself in clothes that fit me more tightly. I slowly walked over to and then quickly mounted onto his lap. I pressed up against him, still wanting him like I had in my dream. So much heat was circulating throughout my body. . . I didn't know what to do with it all. I needed to let go of some of my energy.

" . . . Keiko . . . what are you doing . . .?" I ignored his question and kissed him. I wrapped my arms around him as his strong hands came up and squeezed me. I put my tongue in his mouth and I began sucking his breath from him. His hands tightened their grip around my waist as I did this, revealing his shock.. . and perhaps his excitement. My body burned even more as I continued to press into him. Before I went any further, I realized that kissing him just wasn't helping. In fact, it was making the heat inside me much worse. I pulled away from his lips and put my hands on his shoulders. Everything in my was on fire. . . so much so that I began to wonder if Yusuke could feel it too. I looked down at him as his eyes pierced mine. "What . . . what was . . . that for . . .?" he breathlessly asked me.

"Nothing . . . really," I answered, pressing my waist into his chest. I bent down and I kissed his neck. I moved upward and ran my tongue along his ear. I could feel him underneath me, getting a little more excited. I came back to his face and lightly kissed his lips. I could feel his quickened breaths on my skin. I put one of my hands on his head and ran my fingers through his soft hair. I could feel him getting more and more excited as I sat there on his lap, touching him . . . wanting him. I wanted to pull off his shirt and kiss his beautiful chest . . . just like I had in my dream. I wanted him to do something . . . Anything . . .! But he just sat there, holding me. I wanted to do so much more than kiss him . . . but no matter what I did . . . he would hesitate. I just gave up. I got off of him, more disappointed than ever, and sat down next to him. I sat there, thinking about his sweating body pressing down on me in my dream. Why did it seem so real . . .? Oh my God . . . It felt . . . so good . . . so right, I reminded myself. How could anything so vivid . . . be a dream . . .? I felt everything he did to me . . . Was it . . . was really just my imagination . . .? Could my imagination be so detailed . . .? I bent down and grabbed my knees. I needed to catch my breath. I felt Yusuke's hand rub on my back.

" . . . Keiko . . ." Yusuke whispered. "Did you have a nightmare . . .?" I sat back up and looked at him. Yes! I wanted to say to him, but it would have been a lie. I just shook my head.

"No . . . I'm . . . just so hot . . . right now . . ." I told him, pretending to fan myself off. I smiled. "Don't worry, Yusuke . . . I'm okay . . ." I went further back on the bed, laid down, and stared at the wall again. Who came up with dreams anyway? If my dream had really happened . . . I would be so happy. I hate him! Even though. . . its not his fault, is it? I said to myself. I closed my eyes and listened to the rain outside. I thought back to my dreams. I wrapped my arms around myself, remembering every last moment from both of my dreams . . . my deepest desires. They were always so hot . . . so passionate. I sighed, thinking about our bodies rubbing together . . . moving together . . . absorbing everything we could take from one another.

We've gotten . . . so close . . . to moving to. . . the next level, I mentioned to myself, now staring at the blank wall before me

I thought back to my birthday. He told me that we needed to talk. I got him to shut up somehow. I had him exactly where I wanted him. I had broken him! We were going to do it that day, I reminded myself. The point of no return was near . . . but . . . I . . . just had to . . . get my . . . _revenge_. If I hadn't have stopped us . . . I could have gotten . . . what I wanted. That happened . . . just yesterday. It feels like it happened centuries ago. I guess it's just been such a long day that the past just seems like a really long time back. I wouldn't have this problem if I hadn't of held myself back then, I scolded myself. Maybe . . . that was my last chance . . . to have him. . .

What about the Christmas incident? I asked myself. Just days ago, Yusuke and I weren't even talking. Our 'close call' on Christmas was how everything started in the first place. I thought about how Yusuke had been kissing me so passionately that night. He kept . . . hesitating. My body started heating up again as I reached back further into my memories. He almost made love to me that night. . . but . . . but he . . . changed his mind . . .

In my dreams . . . Yusuke always told me that he loved me . . . or that he adored me. Right from the start, he'd say these things to me in my dreams, I recalled. And for the first time, he seriously and delicately declared his love for me. . . just today. He told me again . . . just hours ago. What took him so long to truly tell me how he felt . . .? I thought back to Christmas day again. Yusuke told me that he _couldn't _go through with it.

Why not . . .?

I remembered asking him if he loved and . . . and . . . he couldn't answer me! In fact . . . that's why I left! I wanted him so bad . . . but he didn't give me what I wanted. I started getting angry at my thoughts. What if . . . what if he wasn't sure before about his true feelings . . .back then? Perhaps . . . he needed time to think about it. Was he just leading me on? No . . . If he truly was leading me on . . . then he would have gotten what he wanted on Christmas. But he refused to touch me for a month. I pondered all of my thoughts, trying so hard to sort them out.

"Keiko . . .?" I turned onto my back and looked at him. "You're so quiet . . . Is there something I can do for you . . .?" I shook my head. I turned back over and sighed. I felt him lay down behind me. His arms wrapped around me. His warm torso rubbed up against my back. I placed my arm along his and I rubbed on his hand.

" . . . Yusuke . . ." I whispered. I held onto his embracive arm as I listened to the rain outside. The rain was still falling as hard as it was before from the sound of it. " . . .Yusuke . . .?"

"What is it, Keiko?"

"Something's . . . bothering me . . ." I let go of his arm nervously and pulled the blanket up and back over me. He wrapped his arm around me once I was covered again.

"What is it . . .?" I hesitated at his question.

"Do you . . . love me . . .?" I bit my lower lip, waiting for his answer.

"Yes . . . I do . . ." I felt his grip tighten around me.

" . . . Then why . . . couldn't you tell me . . . that you loved me . . . on Christmas . . .?" Each word struggled out of my mouth. There was a short yet awkward pause.

"If I had . . . we would have . . ." I turned over to face him. I nodded at his incomplete sentence. I understood what he was trying to say.

" . . . Go on . . ."

" . . . I wanted to wait . . . to tell you . . . about how I felt . . ." I looked at him, slightly ignoring the answer he gave me. That's it . . .? 'I wanted to wait?' I felt like slapping him. "We hadn't ever told each other out feelings in that kind of. . . situation. . . before. . ." he said to me. I looked at him. ". . . I just . . . I just couldn't . . . go through with it that night . . ."

"Why didn't you tell me . . . to stop?" I asked him. His eyes pierced as I placed my hand on his cheek.

"I tried to stop you . . . I tried to push you off of me, hold you down . . . I wasn't sure if it was you talking or your hormones . . . " he said, a small, but nervous chuckle in his words. I closed my eyes as I recalled that night. He _did _keep trying to stop me, attempting to take control of the situation. My body heated again at the thought of that day. But still. . . that whole night, Yusuke kept kissing me so _passionately _. . . and after a while . . . kisses were no longer enough. I wanted him so badly . . . I opened my eyes again. "When you reached into my pants . . . my confidence was reassured. I wanted you so badly, Keiko. I knew that what we were about to do was what you wanted . . . what we _both _wanted." I let go of his face and turned back around, remembering the heat of the moment, almost embarrassed somehow.

" . . .Go on . . ."

"I was ready to start . . . no ifs, ands, or buts. Then . . . you said 'I love you,' and I . . . was shocked. I was . . . touched . . ." I felt my eyes begin to water at the thought. "I wanted to say that I loved you too . . ." His arms tightened around me again. "Those words were what you wanted to hear . . ." I nodded, agreeing. "It took . . . every part of me . . . to say no to you . . ." The tears started rolling down my cheeks. "I wanted you . . . so badly . . . But I knew . . . I knew . . . that if I didn't tell you . . . what you wanted to hear . . . at that moment, all bets were off . . ." I gasped because he was right. I wanted to hear those words . . . I even asked him if he loved me, I said to myself. But . . . he never answered. That was the only reason why I wouldn't go through . . . with anything, I told myself, his words in complete agreement with my feelings. " . . . I felt so guilty for taking you so far . . . and then telling you that I couldn't. I couldn't tell you that I loved you that night. It wouldn't be right for me to tell you . . . that I loved you in order . . . to sleep with you . . . even though the love was there." His words continued to touch my heart. Tears started pouring down my face. I felt so stupid . . . yet I was suddenly outraged at what he was telling me. I sat up, breaking out of his strong and tight grasp. Sitting there, I stared at him, shocking myself at how my inner heat had somehow turned into a stinging anger that needed to be released. All I could do was glare at him.

"Why did you stop talking to me . . .!? " I asked him. "You made me leave without an explanation . . .!" I was. . . yelling at him now. "How was I supposed to feel!?"

"I decided that it was best, for both of us, to spend time apart . . . I had to get you away from me. You wanted me just as badly as I wanted you . . . but I couldn't touch you. If I pushed you away, we would both have the time we needed in order cool down . . . to think straight." His answer did not suffice for me. I wanted to slap him. "I didn't want to hurt you . . ." he paused. ". . . but in the end, I hurt you even more. I just thought we needed time to think about . . . what we really wanted . . ."

"_We_!? I knew what I wanted, Yusuke . . .! I _still _know what I want . . . I want to be with you . . .! I worried about you . . .!"

"Why . . . did you worry . . . why did you wait for me. . .?" he asked.

"I thought that if you loved me . . . you would come to me . . .!" I told him from the bottom of my heart. "I waited for you to come to me . . . I waited for you for a month . . .! Your actions . . . they just . . . confused me more and more . . . If you loved me so much, you would have come," I told him, my voice trailing off in my anger. ". . . to me . . ."

"Then . . . are you sure, Keiko . . .!? Is that what you truly want!? By the way you're talking, I'm just some burden in your life." I thought about what he was saying. A burden ? I asked him in my mind. How could-- My thoughts were interrupted by noticing that Yusuke was sitting up now too. I looked at him, angry at his very existence.

"When you told me you loved back on Christmas . . . I didn't know what to say. I was happy, yet angry. Everyday . . . you showed me that you loved me, but . . . you never said anything. I knew . . . I knew you did . . . you just never truly _said _it. . . you know, with sincerity. I just. . ." I caught myself, looking for the right words. "I just wanted to know what took you so long . . . to tell me . . ." He looked down, thinking about what I had just told him. There room got so quiet. All I could hear was the pounding of my heart and and sound of him breathing as he thought.

"I'm sorry . . . I needed more time to think about what I wanted . . . what I could do to help our relationship . . ." he said to me. He looked up at me before going on. "I was coming . . . to visit you on your birthday so that we could talk. . . but . . . then . . . you stopped by . . ."

"My surprise visit . . ." I whispered, shocked that my visit had caused more trouble than I had planned.

"When you left me here that day, I couldn't stay mad . . . I deserved your anger. I pushed you away and expected you to understand why." I closed my eyes, thinking back to all of the questions I had had during the last month. "I'm sorry . . . that I made you wait . . ." Sorry that you made me wait? I asked him in my mind. Sorry?! That's all? Why not just pat me on the back and say something cheesy. . .? The anger in me began to flare once more.

"I don't think 'sorry' is good enough . . ." I told him.

"'I'm sorry' is never good enough . . . for anyone . . ." He placed his hand on mine. " . . . Do you see now . . . Keiko?" I shuddered and looked up at him.

"My desires have never changed . . .!" I pushed his hand off of mine. His eyes pierced me.

"Dammit, open your eyes, Keiko . . .! What do _you_ want . . .!?" he shouted.

"I . . . I . . . don't know . . ."

"I _want _to be with you . . . I _want _to protect you . . ." he told me. "I _want _to be someone you're proud of . . . someone your parents can trust . . ." He sat there with tears in his eyes, staring into my soul. His gaze became unbearable.

"_**I . . . hate you . . . Yusuke . . .!**_" I shouted. "If you had just given me what I wanted then . . . what I desired . . . I wouldn't feel this way now. . .!" He flinched at my harsh words.

"I couldn't give you what you wanted _because _I love you . . .!"

"So you waited for a _month_ to tell me. Was I supposed to read your damn mind . . .!?"

"No . . ."

"I waited for those words . . . I waited for you . . . and . . . you never said them . . . until today . . .!"

"Then . . . why did you wait for me. . .?" I felt crushed by his repeated question. I searched my mind to find the answer. Why did I wait . . .? I could feel my cheeks burning with anger as I tried find my reasoning.

"If you loved me . . ." I started, looking for the right words. " . . . you would have given me what I wanted . . . You would have come to me," I answered, felling like I was repeating myself. "But . . . you keep telling me that . . . you love me now . . . when you couldn't tell me . . . back then . . .!"

"When you love someone, Keiko . . . You have to protect them . . . even if it's . . . from themselves . . ." He was talking quietly now. "You expect everything from me . . . but . . . I can't give you . . . everything . . ." Yes, you can! I shouted in my mind as if his words didn't make sense. But even to me, they made perfect sense. I was just too angry to care.

"I loved you . . .!" I yelled at him, sobbing. "I still love you . . .! I dream about you . . .! I worry about you . . .! I miss you . . .! I think about you . . . all of the time . . ." He looked at me.

"I love you too, Keiko . . ." I watched him as a tear fell slowly down one of his cheeks. "But look at what I have put you through . . . All of the pain you've endured . . ." We both stopped talking and stared at each other. He reached up and wiped a tear from my face. ". . . Keiko, I can't be with you like this . . . not if I'm hurting you . . . like this . . ." He struggled to find the right words. The rage in me couldn't take what he was saying. My mind didn't want to hear what he was telling me. You don't want to hurt me, huh? I asked myself as if I were still talking to him, the blood in me furiously pumping through my veins. I pulled up my hand and slapped him.

"That . . . that was for making me wait . . . for a _month_ . . ." I said to him. I stared at him as his face remained pointing away from me. I watched as a tear fell down his red cheek. My heart, unmoved by the pain I was sure he was feeling, pounded as my rage only grew. I waited for him to recover . . . and then I slapped him again, this time on the other side of his face. "That . . . that was for . . . my pain." Yusuke's face was away from me as another tear fell down the other cheek. I hate you with all of my heart, I said to him in my mind. I wish we had never ever met . . .

"I'm . . . " Yusuke whispered, his face turning to look at me, stained by the only two tears that fell down his cheeks just moments ago. "I'm sorry . . ." he finished, closing his eyes. My eyes widened with his quiet apology. He sat there as if he didn't care what I did to him next . . . as if accepting any punishment I wanted to give him. My heart ached for that moment as I stared at his serene face. You're _sorry _. . .? My mind faltered to ask. Your apologies . . . they sicken me . . . I let my hate take control as I moved in to slap him once more. I let my hand go to hit his face, Yusuke not even flinching to the incoming impact I was about to inflict upon his face again . . . but . . . for some reason . . . I couldn't do it. I stopped at the last possible moment. I looked at his face now with red marks on both cheeks. He opened his eyes and looked at me now, making complete eye-contact with me. His gaze made my heart pound even harder. I lowered my hand from his face, tears now coming to my own eyes.

"You're . . . not worth the time . . ." I told him. I climbed out of his bed and went back over to the closet. I grabbed my pants off the floor and I slipped them on. I opened the door and stomped out of his room. I want to go home, I thought. I can't stand to be near him right now. I cried as I sat on the couch. I laid down, burying my face into the seat. My dreams flashed before my eyes. They slowly fell apart and faded into nothingness as I thought about them. The questions floated in my mind, tormenting my already confused mind. . .

Did he really love me. . . back then . . .on that night?

Does he truly love me now . . . after how long we've been apart?

Does he still. . . want me. . . even now?

My mind tried to sort out all of my questions. I calmed myself and tried to breathe. Bringing my hands to my face, I wiped away the trails of tears that ran down. I sat up on his couch and held myself. I looked at my watch; it read 10:47. For no reason, I suddenly found myself trying to hear the rain outside . . . but . . . I couldn't hear anything. I walked to a nearby window and looked out. It had stopped raining. The streets were covered in water, puddles of it. I need to get the hell out of here, I told myself. This is my chance. I walked down the hallway and entered Yusuke's room. As I walked in, I ignored Yusuke and picked up my jacket. He was standing at the window now.

"What are you doing . . .?" he asked after turning around to look at me.

"I'm going home . . ." I told him. I threw my jacket on and walked out of the room again. I could feel and hear Yusuke following me just moments later. I went to the door and I began to open it. A familiar hand grabbed my wrist before the door was completely opened. I looked back to see Yusuke, his eyes absorbing me in his stare. " . . . Don't try to stop me . . ." I told him as his hand let go. I opened the door and stepped out. I ran down the stairs and off the second floor. I could feel Yusuke close behind me, each of his steps an echo of mine. I kept my eyes ahead at what puddles were in my path while I said to him, "Will you go away . . .?!! I don't need you to get home!"

"I'm not leaving you until you're home . . . safe," he replied as he ran. I looked behind me to see how far behind he was. He was right behind me despite the fact that I knew he could go faster. I started praying that he would trip over something and fall down. Fall, dammit! If you fall behind, I can get away from you. I wanted him to get hurt. . . to fall and break something and cry like a little girl. . . but I knew that Yusuke was better than that. Why must he follow me . . .? If he's smart enough . . . he should turn around. I gradually sped up and refused to look back. I started sprinting . . . with Yusuke still close behind me. Puddles of water splashed all around us.

"Get lost . . .!" I screamed. I continued to run, increasing speed the best I could. He caught up and ran next to me. I couldn't stand to see his face.

"Keiko . . . Slow down . . .!" I stopped at the corner nearest to the diner, my feet skidding through the water as I stopped. I bent over and breathed, placing my hands on my knees. " . . . Keiko . . . Are you okay . . .?" he asked me, his panting short-lived since he was a stronger runner than I'll ever be. He laid his hand on my shoulder. How dare he touch me . . .!? I brushed off his hand and turned around. I looked at him. At that very moment, I loathed him with every ounce of myself. I brought up my hand and slapped him as hard as I could.

"Get your damn hands off of me . . ." He looked at me, his eyes full of hurt. "I don't want . . . anything to do with you . . .! I hate you!" I slapped him again, perhaps harder than before. Panting still from all the running, I walked around the corner and walked toward the diner. I continued to walk, not turning back to look at his face. I despised the very sight of it . . . I despised him with _all _of myself. Why did I ever love him? I continued walking toward the diner, feeling his eyes burning into my back. I clutched the pendant on my chest. Why . . .!? Have I loved a fool all of this time . . .!? I don't need him! I turned around and glared at him one more time. " . . . I _never_ . . . want to see you . . . ever _again_ . . .!" I turned around and walked into the diner.

I dried my eyes and walked up the stairs. If Mama and Daddy are still awake, I thought, I can't let them see me like this. I stopped at the door and tried to compose myself. I unlocked the door and walked in, quietly. I closed the door behind me, the room in complete darkness. I walked down the hallway, making my way to my bedroom. I walked in and closed the door behind me immediately. I walked over to my bed and sat down in a daze, feeling nothing but all my anger and sadness. The room was so dark that I could only see my alarm clock, which read 11:02. My feeling returned to my numb body and suddenly I could feel that my pants were wet all the way up to my knees. I was even shivering a little bit. I stood up and started undressing myself. Though it was dark, I managed to find my pajamas on the bed and I put them on. I laid down in my bed and pulled my blanket up an over me. I closed my eyes, thinking about everything that had happened.

So much had happened. . . nearly countless were the events of the day. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I clutched the pendant on my chest again. . . it seemed that was all I had left that I could hold on to.

Silently, I wept . . alone in a dark place where nothing seemed familiar. . . even though it was my room.

Am I tormenting myself? I thought, choking on my tears. All my emotions were welling up in my throat. No matter what I do . . . I can't seem to escape him. ". . . Oh Yusuke . . . you . . . you stupid fool." I whispered, still sobbing like a little child. " . . . Damn you . . ." My face burned from the endless tears that wouldn't stop. . . that couldn't stop. . .

Why do I think about you so much . . .? Why can't I just get away from you. . . and move on. . .? I asked him in my mind as if he'd somehow answer though he wasn't there. I couldn't stand to think of him. The very thought would only make me cry more. . . and bring more pain.

How dare you do this to me. . .? After all this time, you've done so much . . . to hurt me. I blinked slowly, taking in the surrounding darkness. Then another thought came to me.

But you've apologized now. . . and you seemed so, so sorry . . . but it still isn't enough. . . _Yusuke_. With the mere thought of my beloved's name, more tears came to my eyes.

But why . . .? I asked myself, my eyes still full of tears and getting heavier as I thought on. Why do I still . . . feel for you . . .so deeply. . .?


End file.
